Big wide world

The Big Wide World Part 1

This is not just a story I have written, this is a point I would like to get across. I have struggled to let my voice be heard, and I truly believe that everyone deserves a voice. I understand there are many people who struggle in this world for there own reasons. Though some people may understand how feel and not know how to tell me or not want to. Everyone is different and that is okay, this is my story of how being born different to others has effected me and why.

The world can be a cruel and challenging place. But you should never give up on your dreams no matter who you are or were you are from. Just because people tell you to or you are different. I am hoping that by writing this, I will be able to get past everything that I am finding difficult. I have been told by some different people that writing it down does help...so here goes.

Though there is a lot to say on my life and what has happened, I would like you to know that everything I have written is true through my eyes. If anyone I know reads my book, they will have different opinions which is fine. Remember there are two sides to every story, it does not matter who you are. And even though I have a lot to say I can't write down everything because there's so much to say. There are some things I am uncomfortable mentioning but I have learned that that's okay as well. Nobody should ever tell anyone things they don't want to tell. Some things can and are private. But I will tell you the most important things that have happened in my life. And the parts I believe will help you understand my voice and hopefully help someone. It's hard for me not to literally put every single part of my life down here. but I can't because there's to much, and not everything is important to the story either.

I would also like to say, though my book is targeted for a particular age. I am happy for younger children to read this book if they really want to. But I would suggest reading with an adult or letting your parents, guardians, carers or someone you trust to talk or explain some of the events I have written down. It does include self harm, sexual assault, bullying and other traumatic things along these lines so please, if anyone's uncomfortable be careful reading the book if you choose to read it. I would never make anyone uncomfortable on purpose. Not everything in this book is happy but eventually I am determined to get my own happy ending.

(Start of story)

I remember being a very adventurous and energetic child. But I was also very sensitive and innocent. I struggled making friends though I had the most loyal and supportive family, and the handful of friends I had. When I finally became friends with them I invited them to parties and it seemed I had lots of friends coming when I was just a toddler until I was seven, my best friend was called Suzanne (not her real name) who excepted me for me. I remember going to Suzanne's house a lot. She was always at the top of my list to send a Christmas, Easter or Halloween card. I also made friends with her family, she had a brother called Nate, a mother called Darci and a father called Kurt.

I loved to be with them and went to a children's play areas called wacky warehouse and one round the corner to my house called Tumble Jungle. I loved playing pass the parcel and remember having this obsession with straws. So I had loads and loads of these plastic straws with animals and cartoons on them. Everyone won a small sweet or a lolly pop in pass the parcel. I learned that it was better to have a few handful of loyal friends, than a bucket load of fake friends who didn't really care.

I used to attend ballet as a child. But didn't like getting up so early for class. As an adult, ballet wasn't for me anymore it was expensive and I didn't enjoy it anymore. I had a clown cake as a small child so I wasn't always so petrified of clowns, I feel as an adult I am now thanks to the horror movies like IT and this pedophile called Penny-whistle. I just started thinking randomly that clowns where evil. But I met a clown at a party it's on one of my home videos. He got me to stand on a chair, I would have trusted him to stand up on a chair with my bad balance. Then he dropped my auntie Sharons gold watch and told me it broke and I did it. I remember being scared and starting to cry saying I didn't over and over then running to Aunty Sharon. She called over to him that If he made one more kid cry she wouldn't pay him, I am not sure if this was a joke or not, I was around five I think.