Precious Things || Jensoo

Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Now, how do I go about getting Jennie to agree to this? It's one thing for her to invite me to her house and a completely different thing for me to get her to come to mine.

What if she says no? How am I supposed to respond to that? I would have no idea what to tell my grandfather, or how to tell her that I can't go to her place because he won't let me.

And that leads to the frightening topic of Jennie Kim seeing my life. Of her meeting my grandfather and actually talking to him.

I have a feeling that pretty much everything she says would count as 'insolence' in his book. I know he won't respond in the same way that he would with me – he couldn't – but he could very well ban me from every seeing her again.

In fact, he probably will, just after getting one look at her clothing and make up.

Oh God, I'm in such a quandary!

Either I tell Jennie 'No' and then have to explain her absence to my grandfather, or I tell Jennie 'Yes' and I end up miserable and in trouble with both of them. Well, in trouble with my grandfather and completely humiliated in front of Jennie.

There is no win in this situation.

I fret about it all night and all the next morning getting ready for school. It doesn't stop me from doing my homework because I've become very adept at pushing everything aside and buckling down, despite what my Grandfather may think. Yet, every time there isn't something else occupying my brain, the dilemma is right there, pulsing away with its persistent insolubility.

History class today is my idea of a nightmare. I wouldn't be surprised if I suddenly turned out to be in my pyjamas, or even worse, naked. I usually love seeing Jennie, but today I'm dreading it. I have no idea what to say to her.

Miss Charles saves my bacon again, as my favourite teacher is wont to do. She puts on a history video for the lesson, and turns the lights down. Now I can sit here and panic all by myself in the dark, pretending to watch the show. Really I'm wondering about what to say to Jennie, but I can't turn around and see her so that helps. Plus, it could have been worse, she could have set us to work on our projects.

The problem is, if I could just spit it out to Jennie, then it would be fine, but I know I won't bring it up if she doesn't. Then I'll spend the whole time wondering if she's forgotten she's invited me and panicking about how she's going to respond to me.

When the lesson ends I wonder if she's going to come up to me, after all, she did say she would, but I'm left in the classroom as she leaves. I guess only I remember what gets said between us. Of course, I store everything she says in my head for future replay, and she probably doesn't.

Deflated and still anxious, I move to the next class. By the time lunchtime rolls around, I've come to the conclusion that I can't actually face Jennie Kim. God help me if we were ever dating. I know I'm in love with her, and quite a bit in lust too, although I don't know what I'd do if it was put in front of me, and yet, I can't even face the most basic of conversations with her. I'm getting over-the-top nervous about the line, "Hey, my place instead of yours for this history thing."

God, I'm such a wimp!

Instead of going to the lunchroom, or out to the courtyard since it's quite a nice day, I hightail it to the library and find the most secluded corner. I don't know if Jennie even knows where the library is.

Well obviously she knows where it is, sometimes we have class here, but she doesn't come here of her own volition.

I pull out my math homework and attempt to get a start on it. I can't eat in here, so at some point five minutes before the bell I'll sneak outside and wolf down my sandwich. I guess my apple can wait till tomorrow. My stomach is rumbling, and I'm starving, but there's no way I'm leaving my cosy little corner.