BRΘΚΕŇ

Miserably...

And I cry...

I cry my problems

I cry others's problems.

I can't stand my egoism.

To only think about my weight, then escape from the calvary of the fear of being judged on my body by dancing, drawing, and writing when I'm too bad.

It makes me sick...

Firstly because it's silly.

I know it, people repeat it every time.

On the other hand because I'm realizing...no. I know and I already knew it before, that there are problems way more important than this.

The worldwide chaos because of heads of state.

The other's pain, the one that is much less devoid of sens than mine.

Poverty

Morbid guilt

Death

Treason

And still others.

I can't imagine all the pains so hard to stand that others hold on their back.

It's like if I complained to wear a mantle a bit too heavy over my shoulders

Yet others endure in silence the weight of a thousand of overwhelming rocks, and so curved under their weight, sometimes until to die 'cause of this.

I only have a mantle. A mantle that is smothering me, sure...
But not as cumbersome as their rocks, their burdens.

I hate me...mainly for this reason.

But despite everything I know, I' m still egoistic, and I complain.

Seriously, CAN'T I REALLY JUST SHUT UP ?!

Why is that so hard to feign smiles ? To look fine ? Not to speak about my problems ? NOT TO COMPLAIN MISERABLY ?!

HOW.

HOW DO YOU, YOU, PEOPLE WHO ARE CARRYING THESE LUGGAGES MADE OF STONE ?!

Is that grief that makes you whist ?

Certainly...

Should I suffer more to stay quiet ?

To get the body I want, without complaining about the consequences ?

Certainly...

Obviously.

But I can't.

I have to be more determined...

Not to give up.

Not to let me being distracted.

To lead at least a thing.

At least one...the one to have a beautiful body.

Can I only manage this ? I'm not asking for money, the love of my life, a comfy environment...

No.

Just a beautiful body.

Am I able to ?

I do not know.

Perhaps will I success one day...

All if this depends on only one thing : myself