If The Shoe Fits #inmyconverse

No More Hiding Who I Am Inside

I. DON'T. KNOW.

 Three words. Nine letters. One meaning: No answer; beyond knowledge.

November 5th, 2002. I was welcomed into the world. Somewhere there is probably a record of what time of day, where exactly the welcoming took place, and who brought me here, but it's not something that I know. I have some theories as to why they gave me up and I've heard stories, but someday I plan to ask them so that I can hear it from them and from there I will decide if I want to forgive them or not. 

September 2011, surprisingly I was adopted. I remember at the courthouse that day they asked if I wanted to change my name. At the age of 8, I thought it would be awesome to pick my name to whatever I wanted, but thankfully I was convinced to keep my name. It's a part of who I am: Aylisa Harmonique. I'm not me without that title. Why I was adopted I don't know. I'm just this crazy, self-absorbed kid that ruins peoples lives unintentionally while trying to do her best to please everyone.

Being so young I don't recall many of the foster homes that I went to, but I do remember going to some more recent ones. Each home had its own ups and downs, but they all provided the necessities. One home, in particular, had a lady who was divorced and made us stand in timeout until she forgot about us and she made us recycle the food we didn't eat and sometimes she would be home late from work and forgot to unlock the door for us. Although that lady may not have been the perfect parent I have a lot of memories from there that I would be sad to not have. 

For people that know me, they know that I do not pick favorites and if I do they know that it was a very difficult decision to make and I may not be completely sure about it because having a favorite means that you have chosen something that outshines every other thing that spikes your interest in that category and I can't choose one thing when there are too many things to choose from. 

Over the years the question, what do you want to be when you grow up, has been asked so many times and it changes all the time. I wanted to be a veterinarian, a gym teacher, a psychologist, an animal trainer, a marketer, a writer, a business owner of some sort, but my feelings change day to day as to what my future may look like. I can't choose one career path when there are millions out there. It's like when your Guidance Counselor gives you your schedule to create and you have a week to turn it in. That's a week to decide what your future to be, not near enough time. 

I'm a Christian. It wasn't until recently that I asked myself: what is my purpose in life? Truly, I didn't know the answer to that and I'm still not completely sure, but I do know that I will always try my best to do what God would want me to do for him even if it's a little task.