Gravity Falls Twangst

Shooting Star's Regrets

Set right after "Sock Opera," with references to Journal 3.

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At first, all Mabel could do was stare at the paper, her hands crumbling it at the sides as they started to tremble.

Then she felt like she was going to be sick.

Considering the content of the note she'd found, I can't say I blame her.

Note to self: Possessing people is hilarious! To think of all the sensations I've been missing out on-burning, stabbing, drowning. It's like a buffet tray of fun! Once I destroy that journal, I'll enjoy giving this body its grand finale-by throwing it off the water tower! Best of all, people will just think Pine Tree lost his mind, and his mental form will wander in the mindscape forever. Want to join him, Shooting Star?

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Her stomach churned as she looked at the last part again, and for a moment Mabel thought she really was going to be sick. But after closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the cool wall of the bathroom for a few seconds, it passed.

The guilt, however, did not.

Her stupid play had nearly cost Dipper his life. As had every moment she had spent obsessing over it and ignoring her brother's desperate pleas for help.

Can't we wait until after the show?

Hmmm, you didn't seem to have a problem taking it for your own play, ditching him when he needed you.

The laptop can wait!

Who would sacrifice everything they've worked for just for their dumb sibling?

The words swirled around in her brain like the world's meanest tornado, but she didn't try to stop thinking about them.

She deserved to remember.

Eventually she pulled herself up, and slipped back up to her and Dipper's room, where Dipper (thank goodness) was sound asleep, still looking like he'd gotten in a fight with the porcubear exhibit down in the gift shop and lost, but at least he was really there.

Quietly Mabel sat down on her bed, and stared down at the note again.

Her initial response was to take it outside and burn it, like it would somehow cleanse the house of all traces of Bill, make sure her twin never had to see it because then he might never sleep again.

But she knew Dipper wouldn't want that.

It was kind of a disturbing thought, but he would probably want to preserve the evidence to help them understand Bill better or something sciencey like that.

Maybe it was the fact that she was thinking like Dipper, but Mabel found herself idly wondering why Bill even wrote this note.

To brag about his plans?

Maybe so he could torment her after her brother apparently committed suicide, by having her realize what had happened when it was too late to do anything about it?

Mabel shivered and then made a decision.

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Resolutely, she tiptoed across the room and liberated the journal from Dipper's bedside table.

It had taken everything short of physical force to convince her brother not to hold onto it all night because he was afraid Bill would somehow steal it while he was asleep. She felt guilt now for taking it-what if he woke up and found it gone and thought his worst fears had been confirmed? But she had work to do, and didn't want to disturb him. Just in case, though, she placed a "BRB!" sticker on the table, one of her best ones, bright green and covered in sparkles. No way Dipper could possibly miss it if he woke up.

Downstairs, in the quiet of the living room, Mabel put together an entry in the journal, taping the hateful note in with a grimace.

Then, using her pink pen, she wrote in her entry, adding an apology in the best way she could think of.

Dipper, whenever you read this, I want you to know I'm sorry. And for the next week, IOU ice cream sandwiches, on me. Love-Mabel.

Ice cream sandwiches, even for a whole week, didn't seem like nearly a suitable recompense for what Dipper had gone through, but hopefully it would help at least a little.

As soon as the ink dried, she closed the journal and slipped back upstairs to bed.

To her relief, Dipper was still asleep. He'd gotten twisted around in the blankets a little, but at least he didn't seem to be having nightmares at the moment.

Mabel placed the journal back in its designated spot, and then on an impulse leaned down and kissed her brother's forehead, before going back to her side of the room to tuck in herself and Waddles.