As Real as it Gets

Nice to Meet You (Chapter 1, Part 2)

Waking up to the sound of his alarm and turning it off, Morty got up from his bed and made his way to the bathroom only to find Rick spraying something on himself.

"Rick, is that... Old spice deodorant...?" Morty said while rubbing his eyes.

"If you tell anyone, I'll kill you. Now go get ready for school."

"Y-y-you're seriously gonna drive me to school just so you can flirt with my teacher? Rick, that's disgusting! I'm not letting you do that!" Morty yelled.

"Well, Morty, I don't care what you want. It's not your business."

"She's my teacher!!"

"Yeah, I know. We just gonna have a little chat and later she's gonna take me to the back room and -" a shampoo bottle was thrown at his head, but he dodged it. "You piece of shit!"

"No! I-I- I'm not letting you drive me! I'm taking the bus!" Morty stormed down the hall.

"Good luck with that, cause it's leaving in two minutes!"

Morty stood there realizing he woke up too late, "You messed with my alarm?!"

"Uh-oh, looks like you don't have a choice now!" Rick smiled proudly to himself, while looking in the mirror and fixing his hair.

Morty unwillingly got in the spaceship and Rick got in shortly afterwards. After a few minutes they landed in front of the school and walked inside. The doors of your classroom were open with a few students already inside talking to each other. You were standing at your desk, organizing some papers when you saw Morty come in with Rick following him close behind.

"Good morning, you two." You smiled at them, but noticed Morty was upset, "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine." Morty quickly said, then sat at his desk taking his books out.

"Don't worry about him, he's just not a... morning person." Rick said trying to get your attention.

"Alright, I guess." You stepped closer to him, crossing your arms, "So, what brings you here?"

"Oh nothing, I just wanted to drop off Morty at school, to show you that I do really care about his education and before I... go back to work."

"Work? What do you do?"

"I'm a scientist, y'know? I invent stuff and make robots and that kinda thing." He said nonchalantly.

"A scientist, really? What kinda stuff do you invent?" you were quite intrigued, exactly what he wanted.

"I can tell you..." he locked eyes with you, "some other time."

"When will that be?"

"Saturday?" he smiled.

"Oh!" you just now realized he's asking you on a date, "I-"

You were interrupted by Mr. Goldenfold coming into the classroom. "Good morning, miss Y/LN. You look lovely today." He took your hand and was about to kiss it, but you took your hand away and awkwardly smiled at him. Rick just looked at him with fire in his eyes.

"Good morning, Mr. Goldenfold. Didn't principal Vagina ask you to meet him?" you said.

"Oh, that can wait. I just had to -"

"Well, I wasn't done talking to her so how about you go do your job?" Rick cut him off.

"And you sir, have no right being in this school, so get out!" Goldenfold snapped at him.

"And you sir, should go do your job and stop interrupting other people's conversations!" Rick yelled back. The school bell rang.

"Hey!" you yelled and they both looked at you, you continued calmly, "Both of you need to get out now because class just started." You turned both of them around and pushed them towards the door, but quickly placed a piece of paper in Rick's hand. "Goodbye!" You said and closed the door behind them.

"You think you're so great and that you can just come in here and steal my girl?!" Goldenfold yelled at Rick.

"First of all, keep your voice down because class just started and second of all, she doesn't want you." Rick stated.

"Yeah? How do you know that?"

"Cause she just gave me this." He held up the piece of paper with your number written on it.

"Motherfucker." Goldenfold hissed.

"Hey, it's not my fault she has good taste in men!" Rick said with a smirk. He turned around and started walking to the school's exit, "Better luck next time, Mr. Goldenfold. Peace oot!"

-

Later that day, everyone in the Smith household was sitting at the table eating dinner.

"Morty, what's wrong? Why aren't you eating your food?" Beth said with a concerned look.

"Rick was hitting on my teacher and now he asked her on a date I hate it."

"Dad?" Beth looked at him.

"What? It's nothing serious." Rick tried to brush it off.

"Dad, it's okay to be in love."She placed her hand on his arm.

"Love is stupid and pointless, I'm not. In. Love. "Rick snarled.

"Then why did you ask her on a date?" Summer questioned.

Rick stayed silent.

"Grandpa, like no offence, but you're an asshole," Summer continued, "and Miss Y/LN is really nice and loving. You're only going to break her heart."

"Yeah you're an asshole and you can't change... That's why grandma left you, that's why Unity left you." Morty added.

"Morty!" Beth and Summer said in unison, but Jerry just played the balloon pop game like nothing was happening.

Rick was lost for words, he stood up and stormed to the garage. "Stupid bullshit love." He whispered to himself, "I'm not in love. That's stupid. Useless fucking chemical." He sat at his desk for a few minutes, but decided to try and distract himself from being sad by making a portal and going god knows where.