As Real as it Gets

Ricks Will be Ricks (Chapter 11, Part 6)

"What happened to you that would make you so cruel." Your Rick spoke, "You're just a kid for fuck's sake."

"Oh no..." The President Morty said in a monotone voice, "The kid inside of me died a long time ago. A new man was born, the one strong enough to bring peace and equality to these poor people."

"And you're gonna do that... how exactly?"

"That's where you come into play." Morty turned to look at him, "Well... not you, but your girlfriend."

Rick tensed up, "What?"

"You love her, right? Your Morty likes her, everyone likes her. So... the solution in simple: I'm gonna clone her so every Rick can have a Y/N." Rick was lost for words so the Morty continued, "You don't think that's a great idea? Isn't it a little selfish of you to just have one Y/N all for yourself? Think about it, everyone would be benefit and be happy with their very own Y/N."

"Cloning someone and making them love you is fucking selfish, I won my Y/N over fair and square, no science, no chemicals, nothing."

The Morty laughed, "Look at you speaking of true love as if you know what you're talking about!"

"Maybe I do." Rick whispered.

-

Just as you thought the day couldn't get any worse, you got a medical job against your will, for some reason. You'd only have to do this for a few more hours until you had to meet up with Cowboy Rick to rescue your boyfriend. Instead of pointlessly thinking about your situation, you decided to make yourself useful.

"How are you doing?" You turned to the still slightly panicked Morty, who had been hiding behind you.

"I'm okay... thank you." He spoke, "I'll go to my room now."

'Doofus' Rick came back as soon as Morty left and was confused by your new attire. "Yeah, I'm a... Morty nurse now." You looked at the worker Id on your coat, "...long story."

"What now? Are we gonna wait here for those few hours?" He asked.

You shrugged, "Well, I don't think we have much of a choice. They're looking for me like crazy out there... By the way, how's you Morty doing?"

"He still hasn't woken up..." he looked at the ground.

"I'm sorry..."

'Doofus' left the hospital for a little bit to go home and pick up a few things. You hoped that by 'a few things' he meant guns, but he's a little too pure for that. Then you went around the rooms to check up on your patients, to make sure no other asshole was mistreating them.

After knocking a few times on the first door, you let yourself in and were met by a decently sized room with four beds and four Mortys turned towards the door to look at you. Their faces were filled with confusion and curiosity. You introduced yourself and soon they started warming up to you. They went on to talk about how lonely they felt working on the farms and fields and how bad all the food is in the hospital, all except pudding.

"I'll smuggle some pudding for you." You spoke in a joking tone, but were very serious about the dairy product abduction.

Suddenly the door opened and another doctor Rick came in, but with a different haircut than the one before, "The fuck...?" he questioned.

"Don't call the cops!" You begged.

He stepped closer to you and looked at your worker Id, "What did you do to Rick J-87?"

"Nothing, he gave this to me and left." You spoke, "Listen, I won't cause any trouble, I won't get in your way, but just please let me stay here for a few hours."

He thought about it for a second, "Yeah, sure. Just like... don't break anything."

"I can do that." You smiled, "Wait, one more thing..."

Rick turned to listen and you carefully explained to him your little plan. After you finished he looked almost lost for words, "So... you want me to... take this cart... and grab all the pudding from the kitchen and bring it here?"

"Precisely." You nodded.

"Sure..." He said after he looked at the puppy-eyes all the Mortys were making.

While he went and did that, you talked with the Mortys and about 10 minutes later more of them came into the room. They all told jokes and had fun, their faces no longer filled with sadness. The doctor Rick came back with the cart full of pudding. As Mortys enjoyed the chocolate desert, you took the chance to ask some questions.

"What is in the East Wing?" you wondered.

"Patients... who came from prison." Rick answered.

"You have criminals here? Don't you think it's a bit unsafe to keep criminals in the same building as all the other patients?" You said.

He sighed, "Yes, I do think it's 'a bit unsafe', but that's not up to me, y'know? The guys in charge thought it would be more efficient to just have everyone in one place."

"And they're here, why?" you raised an eyebrow.

"For experiments... or organ transplants. If anyone needs a heart for example, we just grab a prisoner and take his heart."

"This whole city is filled with 'the smartest men in the universe', but you can't make artificial organs?"

"Of course we can, but we chose not to. Do you have anymore stupid questions to waste my time?" 

"Did any of them ever escape?" You asked with concern.

"For now, no." He said, "But I wouldn't be surprised if they do."

Suddenly, a voice was heard from the speaker, speaking loudly and clearly, "Prisoner escaped from the East and is making his way towards the West Wing, requesting lock down. I repeat, requesting lock down, a prisoner has escaped- "

"Speak of the fucking devil." The doctor spoke.