Sven Thorgren Imagines

Not Ready

"Please say something." Sven begs from the drivers seat. We've been sitting in the dark for nearly an hour now. I keep my head down and think of what to say.

"I've said everything I needed to say, Sven. I keep saying the same thing over and over again. I'm not ready for this." I tell Sven. I can't see his reaction in the dark, but I can feel the tension. He pounds the steering wheel with his fist.

"So that's it for us? We're going to keep being just friends?" Sven asks in an angry tone. "I like you, y/n. I've told that a thousand times. You're the only girl I want to be with. You're it. But I can't keep waiting for you to make up your mind. It's killing me."

"It's not like that, Sven! I'm not trying to make up my mind. I like you, but I'm not ready for a relationship. I wish I were like you. I wish I knew what was best for me, but right now I don't know. I just can't be with you right now." I tell Sven as I begin to open the car door. A light turns on and I see he's the one looking down now. He mindlessly pushes his hair back. He takes a few deep breaths like he's about to say something, but doesn't.

"I'm not going to call you anymore. I can't see you for a while, y/n. I need to get over you." Sven says calmly as he stares at the steering wheel. I nod, as I try not to cry. I talk to Sven literally every day. I can't imagine not talking or seeing him, but I get it. I caused this.

"Bye, Sven." I say as I get out of his car. He doesn't drive away immediately. He waits to make sure I get inside safely, like he always does.

A week later I'm in town shopping with my friend Stale.

"Umm is that Sven over there?" Stale asks me as we walk down the sidewalk. I freeze at the sound of Sven's name. I haven't seen or heard from him in seven days. It's been really difficult.

"Where?" I ask, as I look around frantically for Sven's face. Stale points to this ice cream place across the street. Sven's sitting at a little table with this unbelievably pretty girl. She's laughing at everything he says and suddenly I feel like I'm going to throw up.

"Are you okay?" Stale asks me.

"Yeah I'm fine." I lie as I try to compose myself. "Who is he with?"

"I'm not sure. He hasn't mentioned anything about a girl. Have you talked to him at all?" Stale replies. I don't answer right away because Sven holding that girl's hand distracts me. I wish that were me.

"Nope." I say as I continue watching Sven and his beautiful date.

"Huh. That's weird. Are you ready to go now?" Stale asks. At that moment Sven turns and sees me looking right at him. His eyes grow wide, but he doesn't look away.

"Yeah let's go." I tell Stale as turn and begin walking down the sidewalk again, never looking back at Sven. I can't look back at him. Seeing him with that girl hurt bad enough the first time.

After shopping with Stale, I do something irrational. I don't even think my actions through. I just do it. I drive until I'm outside Sven's house. There's a light on inside and his car's in the driveway so I know he's home. I don't know why I'm here, but I need to see him.

"Y/n?" Sven says when he answers the front door. He's shirtless and in sweatpants. I hadn't even knocked yet. I'm about to ask how he knew I was here, but he answers first. "I saw your car pull up."

"I just..." I begin, but again Sven is already a step ahead of me.

"I saw you in town earlier, which means you saw me too." Sven says.

"Yeah I saw you...and I saw her." I say quietly.

"I was on a date." Sven tells me. The word date brings back that sickening feeling in my stomach. "Why are you here, y/n?"

"I don't know why." I reply as I begin to walk away.

"I think you know why." Sven calls out to me. I turn around to face him.

"Fine. I know why. I'm jealous, okay? Seeing you with that girl makes me sick to my stomach. Seeing you with someone else just doesn't feel right. I don't know how to make this feeling go away. I thought if I saw you then I'd feel better, but I don't. I just feel worse." I explain to Sven.

"You feel this way because you know we should be together! I know you're scared of relationships and I know you're afraid of being with me, but you know it's right. We're right. I've known for a long time that this is right. You're now just catching up." Sven tells me as he steps from his doorway towards me. One half of me wants to runaway. The other half of me wants to run to him. I decide on the latter. I run over to him and throw my arms around his neck. He kisses me as soon as I'm close enough to him.

"I was hoping you'd come around." Sven says when we stop kissing.