Dying Inside(Discontinued)

Hi, this is my pathetic life

(Whole book is in Lloyd's point of view)

I groaned as I made my way to the bathroom, my entire body screaming in pain. Today's beating had left me sore physically, just like any, but I could recover from that. It's what the abuse has done to me mentally that hurt. I longed for the good times, when a little me happily played with my teenage brothers and sister. When there was love and affection, instead of hate and hurt. So much had changed when the Tomorrow's Tea had aged me. I had grown into a teen, and the others love for me was replaced by hate. I was never good enough for them. Even the smallest failure earned me minutes long beatings. Today's had involved a crowbar and a small knife. Oh, and plenty of harsh words to express their disappointment. Now, I search for something to numb the mental pain. A certain object that has become my closest friend. As I enter the bathroom, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. The wounds they caused have healed, due to the venom in my veins. I am tall and very slender. My skin is a sickly white and translucent. My teeth are long fangs, my long platinum blond hair a mess of tangles and blood. I wear a green t-shirt that's too short for me and stained in blood. Black shorts cover my upper legs. Black scales cover my elbows, knees, and torso. Claws grow from the ends of my fingers and toes. My irises are green and get lighter near my snake pupil and red eye whites. My eyes are framed with deep bags. My pointed ears hidden by my hair. And to finish it off, a shock collar around my neck. This is when I show signs of aggression, or when the ninja are bored. I only take it off when I bathe, but the skin under it is red and scarred, never to heal again. Then, on my arms and legs are cuts. These are my own doing. To make sure they don't heal, I burn them with salt since the substance burns me. Now I take out the object that is my only friend. An old razor blade stained in my red and green tinted blood. I slowly press the sharp blades to one of my cuts, then in a swift motion, tear into the skin. Warm blood starts to come from the wound, immediately bringing a sense of relief. Taking away a small bit of the pain. I do it again and again, until I'm covered in open wounds. I stand in the bath tub, so I can rinse it out when I'm done bleeding. I wait for them to stop bleeding, which comes quickly. Swiftly, I grab the salt container in one hand and start to cover the cuts in it, feeling pain as my skin is burned by it. I don't mind the pain. It's better then what I face mentally. I know I shouldn't do this. I know its wrong, but I can't stop. I've always been the weakest of the ninja. I've always been vulnerable. Always been worthless, pathetic, a mistake. My mom and uncle are missing, have been for years. The ninja love to torture me by claiming it's my fault. Maybe it is. Maybe I really am what's wrong in the city. A worthless piece of shit that nobody gives a crap about. I'd be an idiot to think I could do anything right. No wonder I get abused. I probably deserve it. I sigh before leaving the bathroom, quickly ducking in my room before I'm seen.

Too late. Soon, Kai and Cole walk into my room, each wearing a sick smile. I curl into a ball in the corner, hoping they'll leave. Kai speaks. "Lloyd, I can see you. Come here." I shake my head no. Cole hisses through his clenched teeth. "Come here now!!" Suddenly, an electric shock travels through my body. I scream as the charge sends my body into pain. Soon, it stops. I look at the two with fear in my eyes. Cole holds the remote to my collar. "Come!" I obey, slowly standing and walking to them. I may be taller, and was once physically stronger, but they cause me immense fear. Kai grabs me tightly around my sore wrist, the cuts still hurting. The two walk out, dragging me into the living room. The three other ninja stand their, all smiling. I feel tears start to form in my eyes. They step closer. Soon, Kai shoves me on the ground, smacking my head on the hard table. My vision blurs for a couple of seconds, but quickly returns. Jay stands over me, holding something in one hand. "Aw, buddy you look hurt! Here, take these!!" He reveals three large pills. I have no idea what they are, but I don't want them. I clasp my mouth shut. He sighs before Nya hits me in the stomach with a metal rod. In a few short moments, the pills are shoved down my throat. I cough and gag as the five laugh at me. After a minute, I manage to get the pills out of me, happy that there happened to be a trashcan in the room. Jay smirks. "Come on Lloyd. Why are you ruining our fun?" He laughs. I feel tears start to fall, the red and green flames flowing down my cheeks. Cole sees. "Awe, hey look. He's crying!" This makes them laugh harder. I stand and try to run to my room, but Zane grabs me by my hair and throws me down to the floor hard. I let out a yelp as I hit the ground. Tears now flow faster and harder. Why must it be this way? Living my life in pain!! I look at them all. "Why did you have to change?!" This earned me a beating from Cole's hammer, and nearly getting drowned by Nya in a bucket. This is my pathetic life. Great, isn't it?