The Kingpin

•08•

Rafael

Rafael remained at the top of the banister after the girl left. She now knew his name, but he knew nothing of hers. It made her both in danger and dangerous to him. To add to it all, she even knew about Kalani. No one knew about her except for Danielle; the other keeper of this secret was six feet under.

All of this thinking caused him to become far too stressed. He walked over to the drink cart that the now, long-gone decorators had convinced him to have two of. On the second shelf, he had stored only two of his favorite cigars. Cuban-imported, of course, his much larger stash of them remained somewhere else. The long standing embargo really had put a damper on his tastes.

Nevertheless, he picked up the Cohiba branded and sparked the end with his lighter before placing the latter back on the cart.

"Emmanuel should be back by now." He mumbles to himself, the smoke billowing from his lips at each uttered word. As Rafael breathes, the smoke exits from his nose and he begins to pace the length of the second floor before returning to the cart to ash the cigar.

After this, he decides, he will go and get properly dressed. Danielle should not have seen him in his current state, it was a type of vulnerability none should witness. He lays the cigar in the ash tray before heading to his room.

Rafael closes and locks the door behind him as he walks to his closet. His eyes scan shirts of the same relative color and he shrugs while grabbing a grey button down off the hanger. He puts it on slowly, muscles aching as his shoulders move. Rafa passes the standing mirror and avoids his own appearance, instead picking up his slacks from the floor and slipping them on after boxers.

Once dressed, he takes a moment to survey his room. The king sized bed was a mess with pillows thrown to the floor and the flat sheet discarded there too. Rafael picks up the white shirt he had worn earlier and goes to throw it in his closet but catches a scent unfamiliar to him.

He knows it's that of the girl and closes his eyes for just a moment. She smells like strawberries and he lets himself indulge in this before a banging knock at his door pushes him out of his daze.

"Daaaaaad!" Kalani yells through the door. "You didn't come see me yet!"

  Rafael sighs as he walks to the door. He turns the lock and the little girl runs in to jump into his arms. He catches her somewhat uncomfortably and subtly stumbles back a little.

  "Calm down, kid. You almost knocked me over." He runs a hand through her curls before setting her back onto the floor. "What do you want to eat tonight? Uncle Emmi can get it for you."

  His scolding left her with a small frown on her face but she lights up at the mention of Emmanuel. "Chick-fil-a!" She excitedly answers and spins in a circle, her hair twirling behind perfectly.

  He nods and picks up the phone to call Emmi. Two rings is all it takes before the man's voice picks up on the other end.

  "Yeah?"

  "¿Qué te está llevando tanto tiempo?" (What's taking you so damn long?!)

  "No sabía que estaba en un límite de tiempo, jefe." (Didn't know I was on a time limit, boss.)

  "Don't pull no outta pocket shit now. ¿La llevaste a casa bien?" (Did you get her home okay?)

  "Sí. She's fine. Let me take her directly there."

  Rafael nods to himself and glances down at Kalani who is smiling widely. She knows he's talking to Emmi.

  "She ain't ever let me do that before. Anyway, Kalani quiere Chick-Fil-A. ¿Puedes recoger algo?" (Quiere-wants. Can you pick some up?)

  "Yeah, sí. Be back soon."

  With that, the men hang up and Kalani begins to dance in a little circle around Rafael's feet. He stares at her for a moment and then forces himself to look away. He wasn't supposed to be a father, yet somehow that's exactly what he had been made.

"Daddy, can we go somewhere tomorrow?"

"No."

She frowns again. "Why not?"

"We don't have anywhere to go."

"Go to the park?"

"Kalani," He begins to scold her. "I said no."

"Fine." The little girl pouts and crosses her arms over her chest before stomping off to her room.

Rafael sits down on the bed before falling onto his back. He lets out a deep sigh and stares at the ceiling. He allows himself to stay like this for a while and doesn't even move when Emmanuel comes back with Kalani's food.

  He hears her ask Emmi to stay with her while she eats and he obliges. Her soft voice details how he had told her no and how she didn't understand why he was mean. Emmanuel tries to explain to her that since her daddy had said no, that he knew what was best. She wasn't having it, though.

"He doesn't love me." She speaks after a long pause in between Emmi's response. "He's mean because that's why."

Emmanuel sighs and is also silent for a while before clearing his throat. "Sometimes, people have different ways of showing they care, babygirl. Your Daddy is a tough man. That's all."

Rafael listens to their conversation as guilt drowns his heart. Why had he been left with a kid? He couldn't love her. She was right. Why did Imani have to leave him? None of it was right.

His eyes grow weary and his eyelids fight to keep open. The world starts to slowly melt away as he lays like this: in guilt, in needing, and completely alone in them both.

Then his phone rings. He picks up on the second ring and already knows who it is.

  "I, uh..." Her voice is quiet and he can almost picture the look on her face if he closes his eyes hard enough.

  "Hey." He responds. No one can see him, but he's forcing himself not to smile at hearing her voice.

  "You do realize you slipped me your number like a teenager would but amped it up by the fact that you pay me to sleep with you. Yes?"

  Rafael allows himself to give a small chuckle. "Yes. It's so I can call when I need you instead of simply waiting for you to walk down the damn street."

He hears her laugh now. It's soft, not what one would expect but definitely not a bad thing.

"I 'spose that's rather fair. Guess I just called to make sure the number worked."

"I...yeah. That's fine. Get what you wanted?"

"Indeed."

"That's good." He runs a hand over his stubble and closes his eyes once more.

"Goodnight, Casal."

"Night,-" The sound of the call disconnecting interrupts his speech. He wanted to know what her name was. She now occupied so much of his thoughts, he figured it only fair to have a name for her.

He could hear Emmanuel closing the door as he left Kalani's room. He hoped she was asleep because when she was, things just seemed easier. Emmi knew not to bother Rafael when he was in his room, and it was evident in the sound of his footsteps going downstairs to leave.

Groaning as he rolled to his side, Rafa takes out a joint from inside his bedside table and lights it shortly after. Now, he keeps his eyes closed and is temporarily okay with being alone. She never liked it when he smoked; but she was gone now, and he'd be damned if he didn't allow himself to slip away into a rather expensive high.