The Kingpin

•18•

Amelia

  The throbbing in Amelia's head woke her up in a bad mood. Her muscles seemed to know she had woken up, as they began their deep ache. She lay there a while, still and eyes closed, trying to force herself back to sleep.

  Her eyes fly open as fragmented memories of the night before float around in her mind. She manages to sit up before swinging her legs over the side, holding onto the mattress to steady herself.

"What the fuck did I do?" Amelia whispers, remembering how they had kissed and how intimate it all seemed now. He was just a job; her one, super exclusive and dangerous job.

"Amelia?" Rafael rasps from his side of the bed. "You still in here?"

Had he heard her? She replayed the moment in her head before responding to him. "Yeah. I'm right here. What do you need?"

You! Rafael scream-thought. The voice in his own head was so loud that it hurt. "Lay with me?"

"I really shouldn't." Her voice shook even as she gripped the mattress for some sort of grounding.

Amelia wasn't sure why she was denying him this, it wasn't like normal customers didn't ask for the same shit all the time. She easily obliged them.

"Baby, what happened?"

"Nothing. I just, I need some coffee."

Something about this interaction hurt him more than it should've. He couldn't stop himself when the words came out next.

"What? So you just got a little drunk and said some shit you weren't ready to accept? That make running away easier, Amelia?"

What is he talking about? Her mind raced to remember but she came up short. She didn't want to disappoint him.

"I-" She turned to face him, running a hand through her hair after pulling on the top in stress.

He laughed then. A dark and bitter, almost full body laugh. "You don't remember." He sits up slowly, ignoring what she knew was immense pain, to prop himself against the headboard.

"You don't fucking remember." Rafael repeats, anger seeping into his voice. "It's fine. Emmi will be over later. Get your damn money from him."

"Rafael, what are you talking about?"

"It doesn't matter now if you don't remember. It didn't mean anything."

She begins to spiral. It hurt that he was mad at her and because she didn't know why. Maybe Daveed had been right the whole time.

"Bad things happen when you leave me, Amélie." He had said after the time she thought she could do better than him. The bruises he left served as a reminder that she couldn't.

"I'm sorry to have upset you," Amelia begins quietly. Her lower lip quivered and she forced herself to stare at the blankets. "I don't know what happened but I'm sorry. He- he was right."

Rafa had never seen her shut down like this before and a part of him felt guilty. The other part wanted to scream out at her in her naivety, her stupidity.

"Who was right? Daveed?"

He could barely see it but she had nodded her head. It enraged him to have done everything that he did and still have to circle back to Daveed.

"All he ever did was use you! Are you ever gonna fucking see that?!"

At the raise of his voice, her hands clenched the mattress even harder and her shoulders grew stiff.

The room was silent for a long while before she found the strength to get off of the bed.

  "I'm sorry." She finally said, changing out of his clothes and back into her own. "I'm gonna go. Danielle told me she would stop by to check on you soon."

  His heart clenched in his chest as he watched her gather up what little she had to put in her bag. He hadn't meant to yell.

  Karina would've told him that it was better than his usual options. Rafa slowly made his way out of the bed and walked over to her. He couldn't stop himself when his hand wrapped around her arm.

  "Please, baby. It's just that a lot went down last night."

Amelia couldn't look at him. She knew she would fall and she couldn't do it. Not again.

He awkwardly makes his way to stand in front of her, his hands now firmly on her hips. He wasn't sure if it was for his own support or hers.

"You said that I could keep my money."

"What?"

"Last night. We were laying in bed and just as you were about to fall asleep, you said 'You can keep the money this time.'"

  "I'm sorry that I said that. I- we had been drinking and it was a long night."

  She hadn't meant it, he realized quickly. It hit him square in his chest and he gave a small nod.

  "No, it's fine. You shouldn't leave though."

  He wanted her any way he could have her, even if it was paid affection. He craved it.

  "I'm sure there's someone else who would like the deal we had."

  "But I won't like them. They don't offer me the same things you do, and I like those things."

  Rafael took a step forward, officially in her personal space. His hands squeezed at her hips before moving around to clasp together hear her ass. "Same deal, baby. Nothin' weird."

  He had to do damage control in this way. Close and dirty. It was what she had enjoyed before.

  "Fine," She hesitantly pressed a kiss to his lips, her hands dragging through his hair. He couldn't help when his heart sunk into his stomach.

  "Same deal." Amelia repeated his words aloud as if it was a promise she needed to have.

  Rafael watched as she started to walk out of the room. "Hey, Amelia?" He called, getting her attention as she stopped in the doorway. "Tell Danielle she doesn't need to stop by today, please."

  "Yes, sir." She replied without ever turning back to look at him before disappearing doe  the stairs. She was glad things were back to how they had started.