Kink Double Diary

Connor @ Thursday, August 23

Welcome back to our Kink Double Diary. As this is my first installment, I'll keep it easy. Just a simple comment, no response required . . .

I'm hopeful that if you're reading this, you've forgiven me for my foolish blunders. I so love the feeling of wanting you. It's like a drug or more likely an endorphin release I need to maintain. The longer the foreplay, the greater the sexual hit will be. Understand it's self-serving at best, to pump those endorphins.

Here I pause as I'm not used to revealing myself this way. However, I want you to know how I love thinking of you, seeing you when you're aroused. What an enthusiastic hedonist I've become. Where is the stoicism I've been so devoted to? I blame you, of course. C. (excerpt from Carnal Conflict)

PS: You mentioned yesterday that although you wished you had more time to spend with me, you're working and very busy. My position allows me more freedom. I assure you I understand, and I don't expect you to be overly reciprocal so don't worry. In fact, if I'm being overly distracting, just let me know. It won't be easy, but it's not your fault that you look so good. It shouldn't be a problem to be more aware of those times when it isn't appropriate, and I can simply up the masturbation factor. All you have to do is try and not look so good. Kidding, of course. -Me :-)

PS: Damn, it's muggy today!

PPS: It's still Thursday but now nighttime. I'm back from golf. You're fresh out of the shower, wearing only a nightshirt. You do excite me. However, it's late, and you need to get to bed. Not only do I understand, but in a twisted way, I relish the feeling of my excited anticipation for Saturday night. I seem to take perverse pleasure in imposing a delay in actively participating in any sexual encounter with you. It's almost like I take pleasure in torturing myself with prolonged foreplay to the point of a painful need for release. In some twisted way, the pain is what I want.

I so love the feeling of wanting you; it's like a drug or more likely an endorphin release that I need to maintain. The longer the foreplay, the greater the sexual hit will be. Here's an example you might find amusing. Understand that it's self-serving at best, to pump those endorphins. However, I pause as I don't usually reveal myself this way. . . However, you know how I love thinking of you, seeing you, when you're sexually aroused.

I'm downstairs and hear your footsteps creaking across the floor. I know you're going to the bathroom, but my endorphins immediately suggest I can take pleasure in this. My mind conjures up the image of your being so sexually aroused that you're are quietly opening the bedroom door to see if you can hear me masturbating. The thought of you so excited as to attempt this makes me smile, and I wish it were so, so I could pretend I didn't know you were there and put on a show for you. And I do this because it excited me all the more, thinking of you. What an insipid hedonist I've become! I blame you, of course.

Five minutes later, I have an afterthought. Being a voyeur who loves to watch you masturbate . . . Is this just projection?

Time for bed. -C.