The Perks of Having a Nikah (A Muslim Love Story) *BACK 2023*

16.

❝Stay away from what might have been and look at what will be.❞

"Fadwah it's-"

"Gosh I hope it isn't him."

"It's Hudhaifah! I love Hudhaifah!" I blurt out before she can say anything else and shock myself.

"What do you mean it's Hudhaifah? Hudhaifah who? Is there a Hudhaifah that I don't know about?"

"No, Fad. It's your brother." I say slowly and brush a hand through my unruly curls.

"My brother..." She also says slowly, as if it still isn't really registering. "Out of all people to like, you chose my brother?"

"I didn't choose him! It just happened."

"When did this happen?"

"Freshman year of high school."

"So it's been going on this long and you decide to tell me now, after I pretty much beg you to?" She starts to pace the room.

"It's not going on anymore, Fadwah. That was all the past. I'm over him now." I say astaghfirullah in my head for the lie I've told.

"How could you do that, though?"

"What do you mean how could I do that? Are you really seriously mad at me right now?"

She finally turns to face me. "Look Yasmeen, you know I love you, you're my best friend, but with my brother? I just don't know."

"Wow," I can't help but fake laugh. "No need to say anymore. I'm sorry for your brother just so accidentally being my first love. I'll let myself out. Salaam."

I put my garments on quickly, grab my phone and head out. I give salaams to her mother and walk home.

Once home, I head upstairs quickly before anyone can get a chance to talk to me. I pass by Zane upstairs and he gives a smart remark like he usually tends to do. "Leave me alone, please. Tonight is not the night to mess with me."

My voice is cracking and I can't let him know I'm on the verge of breaking down. He begins to talk but I slam the door, tuning his voice out. I grab my niqab and throw it and don't bother to take anything else off. Before I know it I'm crying a river and the tears won't stop falling. I slide down onto the ground next to my bed.

I can't stop sobbing for my life, thinking of all the memories that I wish I could erase from my mind. "Yasmeen, what's wrong? Can I come in?" Zane says calmly.

"No, I just want to be left alone right now."

"Yasmeen.."

"Please, just leave me alone." My words are barely audible as I wipe at my face vigorously. Why won't the tears stop? Why won't they just stop?

Zane lets himself in and closes the door behind him. "Yas-"

"I said I don't want you in here!" I throw the first pillow I can grab with my hand at him. He dodges it swiftly and continues to walk towards me. "Stop! Get out! Now!" I grab another but before I can throw it, he gently takes it from me and puts it back on the bed.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong." He says as he sits next to me. Ya Allah, I'm a sobbing mess and the last person I want witnessing it is him.

I stay silent, looking down at my abaya, praying that I stop crying any second now.

"Please."

"Why are you even bothering to know?" I ask coldly.

"Because I care about your well-being."

I look up at him then, blurry eyes and all. "Why?"

"Because you're a girl who doesn't deserve to feel hurt and pain, and honestly, those tears falling down your face are just killing me." He lightly wipes at them. "Say something instead of just looking at me, please."

"I'm fine." I turn away. "I'm strong enough to deal with this on my own."

"But a beautiful girl like you shouldn't cry, especially by yourself."

His words make me cry even more. "I'm sorry." I say between sobs. "I'm just a mess right now and I just don't know what to do."

"Please stop crying. Come here." I inch towards him a little and he sighs before bringing me closer and holding me. I hesitantly rest my head on his shoulder. "I know I shouldn't be doing this, but sometimes you just need a shoulder to cry on and someone to hold you and tell you that everything is going to be alright."

"But will it?"

"In shaa Allaah." He looks down at me and I can't help but look up into his eyes. "I know you don't want to talk about it now, but you can tell me whenever you're ready. I'm always here for you."

I nod and just rest my head back on his shoulder. Every time I think I'm done crying, I remember a memory and fresh tears fall all over again.

A/N: Assalamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullaahi Wa Barakaatuhu, lovelies! I know it's been a long while, please don't hate me! Lol. I'll really try to update more so please excuse this really short chapter. It's just so hard to come up with what to write, I'm always getting writer's block for this story. But I'm getting back on it and I hope to be updating more and writing longer chapters. Please be patient and bear with me! Thank you all for doing so until now, I love you guys! (: