~Sorry that i have sucked lately and haven't posted as well as i usually do, but here is part two of Marry Me~
I am freaking out. That is the only way to put it i am freaking out. Marriage means a lot to me. My parents got divorced when I was only 5 years old, and I remember it vividly. It was nasty they fought all the time and I don't want that to happen to me. But here I am on my wedding day questioning everything.
When I start to feel really anxious my OCD goes into hyperdrive. I am correcting every small detail like that is going to change the way I feel.
"Hey Cyrus where do you want the magnolias?" I hear Buffy ask snapping back into real life.
"Ummm," magnolias when did we get magnolias. Shit Buffy answer now um, "Put them over by the entrance." Yeah that seems good right? Oh God this is going to be a disaster. I turn looking at the venu when I see my Dad and Grandfather talking.
My Grandfather was going to perform the ceremony. I can't disappoint him. He is so excited to do this I can't mess it up now. Breath Cyrus breath. I take a seat to steady myself when I see TJ walk inside.
Oh TJ he looks really good in his suit today. I am so glad that TJ is here to support me today I really need him here. I really need all my friends here.
...
People start filing in and I stand by the entrance to greet everyone. Each person makes me feel guiltier and guiltier. After 15 minutes of greeting people I go into my little room to finish getting ready.
Once I am finally alone I fall onto the floor and start to hyperventilate and cry at the same time somehow. I have to do this I have to. I can't mess this up for every one they spent so much time to get here and put in so much trouble to make it nice. Pull it together Cyrus.
When I hear a gentle knock on the door I turn and expect to see TJ, but no. Buffy and Andi walk in probably to remind me not to trip down the aisle. By the looks on their faces they did not expect to see me crying on the floor on my wedding day.
"Oh my goodness. Cyrus are you okay?" Andi asks rushing towards me. I grab ahold of her and sob into her green dress. Buffy rushes over and wraps her arms to hug me as well. After 5 minutes of crying I stand up wipe the tears away looking into the mirror determined.
"I can do this," I say trying to convince myself, "Right?". Buffy comes over and puts her hand on my shoulder. You wouldn't think that she is a very comforting person, but she has a secret gift.
"Of course you can," Buffy says sweetly, "Don't let anyone tell you what you can or can not do." Her simple words brought a bittersweet memory to my head instantly. A memory of TJ's hand on my shoulder telling me that I can get that chocolate chocolate chip muffin. And that Buffy couldn't tell me what I can do. Not to let anyone stand in my way.
Jonah walks in to tell me that it is time for me to walk down the aisle. I thank the girls and walk towards the doors that lead to the aisle. I walk down like nothing is wrong knowing quite well that this is going to get ugly fast.
I reach Matt and briefly smile at him before giving all my attention to the crowd where I saw TJ smiling sadly at me.
"Welcome family and friends. We are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the marriage of Matt and Cyrus. This is not the beginning of a new relationship but an acknowledgement of the next chapter in of their lives together," My Grandfather starts.
I keep finding myself look to TJ. I know that I am making the right choice here. My Grandfather keeps talking but I don't hear a word that is being said. Until Finally I hear those dreaded words.
"You have chosen to write your vows, and it is with these words you express your binding promises to love, honor, and cherish one another. If you are ready to make these promises to each other I invite you now to face each other and declare your intentions. Cyrus you may begin,"
"Okay well I had this great speech planned out. I had it practiced down to a T, but Buffy said something earlier that reminded me of the most important lesson I have ever learned. She said something that reminded me of middle school when a scary basketball guy helped me feel good about myself for the first time," I start cracking up at this point. I look at TJ and smiled. Doing so I saw everyone wore smiles thinking that this speech was going to be beautiful.
"He told me to go up to what I wanted like I already owned it. And that others can't tell me what I can or can't do. But most importantly he told me not to let anyone stand in my way. I have been telling myself all day that I can do this and that I can't mess this up for everyone else, but I didn't think to stop and think about myself for once. I mean for goodness sake this is my wedding day I shouldn't feel like it I don't go through with this wedding everyone will hate me," I take a second to breath.
"I am so sorry that I didn't come to this realization earlier, but I don't love you I can't get married to someone I don't love," I look at TJ and for the first time since he got his invite he looked truly happy.
"Go. Go be happy with him," Matt whispered in my ear. God he was a good guy he didn't deserve this.
"Thank you, I'm so so sorry," I said giving him the biggest hug i am muster up. I walk towards TJ and put his face in my hands. I pull down and kissed him in one swift motion.
"Oh God I have been wanting to do that since Middle school," I smile at him.
"Yeah me too," He said grabbing my hand, "Why don't you say that we get out of here, and talk about what just happened."
"Yeah that's probably a good Idea," I say happily.
~Okay so this is like 1090 words so your welcome I have some ideas to maybe make a third and final part to this let me know what you think of that idea.~
~Love Talia
