*Ben's PROV*
I knew a boy, he had shoulder length black hair and ocean blue eyes. His smile would light up the entire room and he was a softly spoken person. He wasn't the tallest yet that didn't stop him from anything. He wasn't completely perfect but that was what made me love him more than myself. I knew a boy that was going to change the world.
He used to make up random pet names for me and would always make sure I knew how much he loved me, I would do the same. He would sing everyday, sometimes even mess with his voice on purpose or screw up the lyrics just to check if I was paying attention. On stage he would always jump around as if he was a rabbit and spin around and smile at me. God I miss him.
We were on stage singing Wounded World when he stopped singing. We kept playing 'cause we thought maybe he forgot the lyrics, then he just dropped to the ground. His movements were frantic as his body shook out of his control, weak gasps were coming out of his foaming lips. Saliva dripped down his face as his limps kept slamming on the floor, his eyes were moving all over the place as well. I put his head on my lap and attempted to turn his now calming body to his side to prevent him from choking on something. I screamed as the paramedics took him from me.
He had an inoperable brain tumor, that's what caused the seizure that day. He said it was okay, that he was okay with it. He just smiled and told me not to worry. Our band mates and I made sure he took his medication everyday and were very sharp on detecting if he was acting odd. Weeks passed and he returned to normal, although Rachel would spend a lot of time with him.
His symptoms got worse over the time yet he didn't say anything, he's had symptoms earlier yet he made sure we didn't know. The only reason we know his because he wrote about it on his journal. He admitted that every time he had an enormous headache, that he would say he loved me. He did that in case it would be the last time he would get to say it. At first I thought it was sweet yet a bit random, now I understand.
Our fans knew what happened, he told them. He cried as he spoke out about his butterfly tumor, the mass stretched to both sides of his brain. The fans all wished him well and would give him little cards or fan art when we played, sometimes they would tell him of their experience with their illnesses. He would smile at them and encourage them to be whoever they wanted despite of their health problems. He helped everyone he met, even when they didn't deserve it.
We were in the tour bus, we were in the lounge as we were watching TV. The blanket was wrapped around us and a bowl of popcorn sat on the coffee table. Foley and Alistair were on the other side of the couch as Ronnie drove the bus. It was raining hard outside and thunder could be heard.
"I love you." He spoke as he closed his eyes. I immediately attempted to wake him up. Foley ran to his body and laid him on the floor as he attempted CPR, Ronnie was speeding to the closest hospital. All of their efforts were pointless as Patty never woke up. Nothing we did brought him back, I screamed angrily at the gods as if they could fix this. He didn't deserve today, no one does. It's true what they say, death doesn't discriminate.
The funeral was beautiful, although we had the service at the burial sight. He didn't want his funeral in a church, he didn't like that place. He laid motionless in all black clothing, his usual stage makeup was done, his nails were painted black, and his hair was in it's usual messy style. It was surreal to think he was dead, but he was. I don't exactly remember everything but Rachel gave me his journal, she said she already read through it.
In the journal he had a few pages dedicated to each of us, he was saying goodbye. Mines the most had tear stains smudged in some places and the messy hand writing didn't help. He wrote about all of our adventures and the things he loved about the day. He spoke of how terrified he was of death, even called himself a time-bomb. In a way he didn't lie, but I wish for more time with him.
I knew the bravest boy, I knew the boy I fell in love with. I knew a boy who pretended to be okay just so we won't suffer. I knew a boy who would smile even when he was in the middle of a hurricane. I knew a boy who was silly and an enormous klutz who loved plush animals way too much. I knew a boy who would wear pastel hoodies that were way too big for him and dance around the living room while singing along to the radio. I knew a boy that would go by the name Patty Walters.
