My Inner Voice

Dear Coincidence,

Dear Coincidence,

God Damn You. 

You just had to didn't you. 

Today at school I was wearing a nice shirt and tights, the first time in a long time because I usually dress in saggy shirts and basketball shorts, and you just had to. 

The whole reason I dressed up is to impress some guy I think is cute, and he fucking leaves for a football game in the middle of school before he even see's me. 

Like what the flying fuck?

Did you have to? This one time where I actually go out of my way to dress like a girl, and it was for nothing?

Wow.  

(:):(:):(:):(:):(:):(:):(:):(:):(:):(:):(:)

Waking up in total darkness is what we all do. We all see the dark before we could even open our eyes. And you never know if you're drifting or walking through a planned life; A fated life. A life darkness has taken and we cannot see. But who ever said it happens all the time?

(:):(:):(:):(:):(:):(:):(:):(:):(:):(:):(:)

Dear Yesterday,

In my 2nd period, I have this one friend, Ko'i (who is one year older than me), who dresses like a really girly-girl. I mingle here-and-there with her but mostly do my school work. It just so happen that that day, something extra occurs.

There is this other girl, with a pretty "interesting" background, who was talking to Ko'i, and some how they got onto the topic of me dressing like a guy. 

They were giggling uncontrollably so I turned around to ssh them. When I saw what they were holding I froze. 

They were looking at me; holding Mascara. 

They knew I had long eye lashes. 

I turned around, and stuck my nose into my work, praying they weren't thinking of what I was thinking. 

But, of course, I'm screwed. 

I had no one that would help me when Ko'i walked in front of my desk. Right when I was about to say no, the other girl came behind me and held my face up. 

With lightning fast movements, the Mascara was applied. The chemicals burned my eyes. I groaned in frustration, and attempted to pinch my eye lashes; hoping to get the make-up off when my hand was swatted. 

"No," they both said in unison. 

The rest of the day, my eye lashes were maybe 2 inches long, (because the Mascara used was water proof) and all of my best friends would laugh at me. Which would make me blush. Which would make them laugh even harder. Because I don't blush. 

(:):(:):(:):(:):(:):(:):(:):(:):(:):(:):(:)

Dear Hormones,

Shut the Fuck Up.

Just quite your job.

You were quite prudent the other day when some 8th grader (I'm a 9th grader) hugged me. There was nothing else more general you could have done than fluster and giggle.

I fucking giggled.

I might as well get heat-stroke by how warm my face was.

I'm older than him for crying out loud! Why would you even stir when you know he has a girlfriend; who you're friends with; dated one of you're friends; and you barely know him. 

Yes. You saw him for 2 summers. Little glimpse's where he was at my Baseball games (I might have been a little more cocky with my plays than usual) and we'd exchange little glances. 

And yes. In my middle school years, I didn't know who he is, but found his face quite attractive.

I later found that you actually knew him. But the thing is, he was fat in elementary school. Left for 3 years, and came back a stud. 

Why wasn't I better friends with him?

*Swat's thigh furiously*

Shut the fuck up!