My Story....

Chapter Two

I'm five now and you got us all back. You had a nice job and a nice boyfriend. I remember walking in on you two in the weirdest position. I ran upstairs and told my brother and sisters. We all laughed because we didn't understand what was happening. I never told you that did I? Kind of how you never told us anything either.

It was my first day of school and I didn't want to let go of your leg. The way a dog holds onto a bone before you finally grab hold of it and throw it away. Kind of like the way you just threw me away. Funny analogy right? I remember getting in trouble for the first time. We were doing arts and crafts. It was more of "ants on a log." Instead of putting the peanut butter on the celery, I put it on the table... all over the table. That was my first time out. They called you... said that I wasn't participating, being "social" with the other kids in the class. Maybe it had something to do with you not being social with me? Funny how all the dots connect themselves.

At some point I went to live with one of your sisters. It was my cousins birthday. I ate the cake and ended up with a bruise on my eye. Turns out belts do leave scars. I was taken to the doctor.. She said you told her I fell into a door? Why didn't you tell the truth? Were you afraid that if they knew, they would want to visit your home ?That they would see what was happening in your basement? What they would find, more so "who" they would find locked away in a cage? Luckily, I didn't need stitches, I needed something else. Something I would find later on in life. You decided you no longer wanted to care for me and gave me back to my mom.  Between the ages of 7 and 11, I remember nothing. I don't allow myself to. I don't think I want to. Maybe those were the bad years.. Nothing could be worse than blocking out a whole three years of your life right?... Wrong.

You and your boyfriend got into an argument. Words were yelled, things were thrown and windows were broken. The neighbors called the police. I remember looking out the window as they put you in the back of a police car. I remember watching as the car drove away. A lady came and took us to your moms, where we all stayed until you got out.

Middle school wasn't all that great. Me and my brother were in the same grade. Had the same teachers, friends, etc. He was a year older than me, why were we in the same grade? I don't know why, maybe I just started early? I wasn't all that talkative. I remember my first day, I walked in the class and sat in the back. This boy kept staring at me. We became friends. And from there I became friends with his friends. We almost started a band. Could you picture little ole me in a band? Me neither. It could have been fun though. Maybe.

Towards the end of the year, I did something very stupid. To this day no one really knows what actually happened. That what happens with rumors, they get passed along and twisted to where as the truth is no longer there. I was sitting in my science class with Ms. Reid and I had a paperclip in my hand. Can you guess where this is going? I was sitting near an outlet. Any guesses? I stuck the paperclip in the outlet and shocked myself. Yep. I stuck a paperclip in an outlet and got electrocuted. The only funny part of this story is what happened after I stuck it in there. Ms. Reid shrieked and started crying as if she stuck it in there. I didn't even cry, I just sat there shocked at what just happened, ha. I ended up going to the hospital and they called you. But you didn't even answer. They left a message and you still never showed. Grandma did. She always showed up for me.

Seventh grade was a blur. A blur fool of constant bullying and my friend getting the guy. Literally...  that was my seventh grade experience.

I'm 13 now. 8th grade, the time of my life. It was supposed to be the best year of my life before high school right? I told you this wasn't a fairytale. Nothing went my way, so you're right about being wrong. This is when it gets worse. It only got worse. I came home one day after clc. An after school program I was apart of. Free snacks, open gym and homework help... who wouldn't enjoy that? I was happy, really excited to tell you about my day. But you weren't there. Why won't the lights work? They turned off the electricity. But, I didn't understand why. Did you not pay the bill on time? No one was home.  I stared out the window dazed and confused. I thought you loved me and wanted me around. That's why you fought so hard to get me back. Right? You lost me once, more than once...

I figured you wouldn't want to do it again.. Maybe I was wrong. Days went by and you were nowhere in sight. Worried if you were okay or not, I called your friends. They hadn't seen you either. Were you even alive?. I was all alone. Until my sister and my cousin came back. I was waiting for a sign that you were okay. But It never came and neither did you. A few days went by and you still weren't home. We

made the most of it. Throwing candy in the air and dancing to the music coming from Cierras phone. Candles lit everywhere just laughing and dancing. They

finally turned everything off and sat me down. My sister packed my bag .

"You have to go stay with grandma. It is not safe for you to stay

here."

I started crying. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to wait for you to come back. You never did. I agreed to go.

Back with my grandma and everything was actually great. That is until you came. You were the second worst part of my life. How is it that a sibling can ruin you in more ways than your mom can? I don't understand. You used me as a punching bag for months. I tried to tell but I was always told to leave you alone as if I had been the one doing wrong.

Reminds me of a time in the 7th grade. We had the same group of friends and you finally decided to clean your room. I didn't think telling them about it would be so wrong. I still don't. I'm 20 and I still don't get why it was wrong to make a joke about your messy brother finally cleaning a mess he made. Mom wouldn't give you money. And I guess me telling them was icing on the cake. You smacked me. I can still feel the sting on my face as if it just happened now. It felt as if I had got a paper cut and someone decided to pour lemon juice on it. Everyone laughed. Our friends didn't. You didn't get in trouble. You never did. Everything was my fault right? No suspension, no detention, no phone call home. Nothing. One day you would get what you deserved for the way you treated me. One day.