Dominion

Chapter 3

I put my hair into a messy bun and look myself in the mirror. I don't bother to put on any make-up opting instead to apply some lipbalm and powder and yeah, I am good to go.
Satisfied with my appearance, I grab my travel bag, giving my room one last glance to be sure I am not forgetting anything. 

"Clara! Ben is here." Mums shouts

Grabbing my travel bag and small purse, I do a last minute check of what I have packed. Confident that I haven't forgotten anything, I alight the stairs to a waiting Ben.

"You set to go?" Ben asks collecting my travel bag from me.

"Yup. Bye mum." I give mum a quick hug before following Ben out the door.

"Be a good girl and don't forget to give me a call when you get there okay?"

"Sure mum, will use Ben's phone."

Throughout the ride my mind has been busy wandering back to everything Mum said to me few days ago. This is sure going to be a heck of a journey.
All this years I have been brought up to believe everything religion related is a mere fiction and figment of people's imagination, it is going to be hard believing otherwise. How did I suddenly go from having parents who believed there is no God and brought me up with their notion to having a dad who doesn't believe in God and a Mum who claims she does.
I feel stuck in between and that has become my top reason for my journey today. I need to discover things for myself and make my choice devoid of my parents individual beliefs.
**flashback**
" Mum, I will be leaving  for the camp at DR Troop this Saturday." I inform her with a mouthful of spaghetti.
Mum looks at me questioningly, "What are you going to do there?"
I look at her unbelievably, we had this discussion last night! "Serious Mum, don't tell me you've forgotten all I said last night."
Her face remains blank, no sign of remembrance which is just so annoying. "Unlike you Clara, I have a lot on my plate so care to repeat yourself? "
I sigh, " Camp remember?"
"You might have to explain further " She digs into her food pinning me with her inquisitive gaze.
"It's just a youth camp. We get to have fun, relax and learn new things." I say really hoping she doesn't probe for further information
"Ben is coming with me" I add. Hopefully with the mention of Ben's name she will agree to let me go.
Ben's Mum and Mum are really close friends and we have been best friends since we were little.
"His mum agreed with this?" She questions. I nod in confirmation.
In honest truth they didn't but she didn't need to know that. My only fear is her calling Ben's Mum to confirm. Ben convinced them to allow him go spend the holiday with his cousin whom he has contacted and made arrangements with. That is his getaway and now it is up to me to find a way to convince Mum to let me go in order to get our plan pass stage one.
Mum looks at me uncertainly, I sigh. "I really want to go Mum, please." I beg.
"Your father won't agree it's a Christian organization." She states looking somewhat sad.
"Yes it is. That's why I really want to go. Dad doesn't have to know, I will be gone and back before he returns from his trip. Please Mum." I tell her having worked everything out with Ben.
"What if he comes back earlier?" Mum argues
"He won't I am sure of it" I insists gulping down a glass of water.
"And you know that because? "
"Guts. Please Mum." She shakes her head at me unyielding to my pleas
"Sorry, it's a no. Why do you really want to go?"
I drop my gaze sadly, "I know this would sound off but most of my friends are Christians and I have just been thinking what if we are wrong in believing there is no God? I mean, I see the way they behave and live and-"
"Enough!" Mum snaps slamming her hand on the table, I nearly shoot out of my chair.
"You need to get rid of those friends of yours. They are rubbing off on you, negatively!"
"No Mum. I want to discover and know things for myself and choose my path not because my mum or dad is doing it but because of what I want." I argue. I knew this was going to be hard from the beginning but I am determined to have my way.
"You have no idea what you are talking about! Talk to me, I am your mother. Ask me any question I will answer it for you cause I won't allow you go to any Christian organization where your mind is most likely to be polluted." She is looking at me sternly as if daring me to argue but that's the thing, I am ready to push every single button of hers till I have my way.
"I have a great idea of what I am talking about Mum. I don't feel right knowing there's a possibility I have been in the dark all my life. If you do this and I happen to find out much later that I was right. It will be hard to forgive you Mum and I don't want it to come to that cause believe it or not, you can't control me all my life" I say lowly.
I watch confusedly as a smile breaks out on mom's face, a genuine one.
"I think you better get going then, the earlier the better."
"What?" I blurt "I don't understand" I look at her intently trying to get any hint as to what she is driving at but find none.
"Finish your food, I have something to show you" I nod at her and obediently resume eating my food.
What just happened? Why did she suddenly change her mind? That's what I obviously want but the manner and way at which she conceded is just off. I am confused to say the least.
"When you're done eating, meet me in my room" Mum tells me walking to sink to drop her plate before leaving me alone with my thoughts.
What could she possibly want to show me? I am more concentrated on my thoughts that I eat numbly till there is nothing left on my plate. I walk to the sink to wash my plate and that of Mum. All the while, my mind tries to come up with answers as to what awaits me.
Anxiously I make my way up the flight of stairs to my mom's room. I knock once waiting for permission to walk in as I have been trained. "Come in " her voice calls. I twist the doorknob and enter. Mum is sitting at the edge of her bed, a book in her hand. I walk up to her and take a seat beside her to get a better view of the book she is holding.
She looks up at me and places the Book in my hand. I can't tell which book it is since it has been placed in a cute pink book jacket. I look at her skeptically expecting some sort of explanation regards the book and why she needed to show me.
"What you hold in your hands is the Bible, the word of God." She simply says
I look from the Bible to her severally, surprised. For some reasons unknown to me, I start to feel uncomfortable holding the Bible in my hands so I drop it on the bed.
"I don't understand, how come you have it?" I wonder aloud.
"I am a Christian "
I look at her my mouth agape, I don't know how to react to that or what to say. I surely did not see that coming. Her disappearance every Sunday Morning is beginning to make sense.
"All those times you left the house early every Sunday Morning saying you were going to some place with your friends you were actually going to church?" I ask disbelieving.
She nods at me, a faint smile on her lips. 
"I thought you didn't believe in God? What changed? Why didn't you tell me? Does dad know?" my mind is running with a lot of questions that needs to be answered.
"Let's take it one at a time okay?" She places her hands on my shoulders soothingly.
"I followed a friend of mine to a program where her child was to present. While we waited for the presentations to commence, some Christian songs were played in the background. I remember one being my mom's favorite. I realized then, how much I missed it all. You know, how things were before I met your dad. I wanted to leave at that point but for some reason I didn't, I stayed and listened to the end. That was my turning point." I listen as Mum narrated her story to me, one thing out of all she says strikes me.
"You were a Christian before you married dad?"
" Yes I was. I know you are confused and it's okay. I talked to your dad about it. I was hoping perhaps now he will be open to give it a try but he just got so angry and-"
"That was the day you and dad fought" I finish for her, sudden realization hitting me. I remember that day, I was terrified. I had never seen Dad and Mum fight and watching dad beat Mum that day while I stood there helpless crying and begging dad to stop is something I still struggle to get out of my head. I have never seen him so angry like that before.
"I got pregnant for your dad in my final year in the University. Your dad never believed in God since I have known him. I don't really know why. I loved him so much and still do, I was hoping I could change that. He asked me to drop my Christian faith in order to be with him. I couldn't face the struggle of raising you alone and didn't want to burden my parents. More so, I didn't want to deprive you of a fatherly figure so I did. He forced me not to mention anything about it all to you that's why I left you in the dark for so long. I am so sorry." Mum pulls me into a hug barely managing to keep herself together. I hug her back and for a while we just stay like that not saying anything. This is a new picture I am seeing my father in and I really don't know how to take it.
"Why tell me now?" I ask, pulling away from the hug.
"Because whatever happens it is your choice not mine. When you told me where you plan on heading to, I was shocked. I disagreed at first just to know how desperately you seek the truth and light in this darkness you've been pulled into. I can see the determination in your eyes to discover things yourself and I won't stand in your way. You have my full support ."
I smile at her, picking up the Bible I dropped on the Bed. "My mum gave it to me when I was going to the University. Apparently I didn't use it much before I met your dad. I want you to have it." She looks at me warmly and I smile.
"Thanks mum"