I sat there with my back against the wall, my hands wrapped around my knees not forgetting the head between my legs suppressing the soft sobs leaving my throat.
The sobs were all dry because no tears were coming out. Something I always do after meeting her. I was indeed shattered only because i could not stand up for myself, i let fear stand in the way allowing every blow to hit me instead of protecting me.
3 minutes ago
There she is lady of perfection, walking through the hallways with her head held high, heels clicking on the tiled floor. The sound they make grabs everyone's attention. This works to her advantage as it implodes her confidence. She wears a smile of purely white teeth compared to my opaque ones, the smile that reaches her dazzling light brown eyes unlike mine which are dull and lack light in them.
All that she has i craved it, envy flows through my veins and my pride sky high. She always makes me doubt myself. A question rises up my head 'What is it that she has that i don't?'. She is heads towards me and everyone's head turns with her alluring scent. Granted all species saw the fear i had from the way my mouth drops to the floor and my eye's bulging out of their sockets.
When she reached me she said 'Hi' smiling brightly letting her strawberry flavored breath hit my nostrils. Those are the two simple letters she said that made butterflies in my stomach believe me it was in a bad way. Why?, you may ask, simlpe; her happiness irks me because i never understand why she is happy. I absolutely see nothing to be happy about.
I had to back away because jealousy was only seconds away from coming out my mouth. I HATE HER. She is the cause of all my flaws, my low self-esteem and lack of confidence . I could never answer when she has that effect on me.
Sometime later
She left wounds in my soul. Wounds only that i could heal by being confident and believing in myself. Self introspection would do me good before I have to face her again with my newly found esteem. I won't allow her to affect me anymore . I will not pay heed to what she does; I will do me. I wil change for me to please me. I am tired of being a shadow in my own life.
I know i am beautiful and a spontaneous being. I will make a change in someone's life someday. One day i will hear those words 'I look up to you', beacuse then i won't be chasing after perfection but living up to my dreams. The sky is not the limit because there are galaxies up there; my limit is the sun where i will burn down to ashes. Only then shall i say i have reached the limit.
I will not think outside the box because in life there are no boxes just consequences of how you live it. I am confident in my self i will make an impact in my life. Perfection really is a disease it leads you astray from your main goal.
All i want to say is Do you, Be you, Be on the list of your Role Models, Love you, Become your first priority. Your life should be about you. Bearing in mind that you are you and no one else.
