Our Forbidden Love

II : How Can I Have You?

I think grief is no anger but a love that has not been spent. It's the regression of not doing something that could have been done. Mostly it is felt on funerals, but I feel grief towards someone who is very much alive.

Regret fills me for not seizing the opportunities when they arose. I was blinded by fears, deceived by those claiming to love humanity yet lacking basic decency.

"Tada," says Hannah, as I yawn, realizing I might have dozed off while overthinking.

I gaze at the college I'll attend for the next few years. It's better than Redwood, with European-styled structures, vines adorning buildings, and pale brick roads that promise a beautiful view when it rains. It feels like starting a new book, not just a chapter.

"I love it already," I admit. "Sucks Alex couldn't join us, we'd still be a trio."

"Yeah," Hannah agrees. "Let's have breakfast after unpacking."

I tuck my bangs behind my ears as Hannah gives me a look.

"Do you think Fallon will study here too?" she asks. "Or maybe not, but I've heard Mr. Clay Darkling is around. What do you think?"

Fallon's stepbrother. Being in another school with her could be fun if her girlfriend stays away. But seeing her with someone else might be hell. What's my right to be jealous? She doesn't feel the same for me.

"I don't know, we'll see."

"Miss Michigan!" Uh oh.

I plaster a smile as I greet him. "Hi, Clay. Still polite, I see."

He chuckles. "You're studying here?"

"Yeah, freshman. You?"

"I'm taking online classes, focusing on my passion."

"What passion?"

"Aircrafts," he says happily. "Fallon and I are trying my new jetplane. We'd love for you to join."

"Nice of you, but my schedule's tight. I'll let you know if I have time."

He smiles, showing a dimple. "Sure, Miss Michigan."

"Call me Cat. You sound too formal," I joke as Hannah reappears with a trolley. "See you around, bud."

Clay waves, walking away, his hair shining in the sun. He looks pretty.

"Bud? Like cotton buds?" Hannah jokes.

"Bummer." I retort, transferring my stuff to the cart. "These carts cost fifty dollars upon registry."

My eyes widen. "Hannah?!"

She chuckles nervously. "Y-yeah?"

"Pay half. We share the item, we share the price. Got it?" she nods, still nervous.

Classes haven't started, and I'm already spending twenty-five dollars. Stupid.

Should I despise little Parker again? It might help, but karma might burn me alive.

"Ready, Cataryna Hayat?"

"Yeah, but only because I have no choice."

...

"Dinner's served!" Hannah says as I shift and yawn, realizing I slept all afternoon.

It's past seven. The curtains are closed, but I see the city behind the glass.

"Where were you while I slept?"

"I went out with Harriet," she breathes. "I can't believe she's so beautiful."

I snicker. "Really?"

She nods, silently panicking. "C-cat, what if I like girls too?"

I squeeze her hands. "We can check out girls together. You're a walking fruit salad."

She smiles. "I'll keep an eye on her until I find someone else."

"That's harsh. You don't even know if she's," she bends her arm. Oh.

"She could be closeted like me. Who am I to judge or assume someone's sexuality?" I say dramatically.

She chuckles. "You'll always be my dummy bestie, ew."

"Ew, you disgust me more," I retort, throwing a pillow at her.

"This smells like your strawberry shampoo."

I feign a gasp. "How dare you! It's hard being a goddess these days."

"True, I'm glad I'm a god," she retorts confidently.

"Six feet off the ground at all times, I think I'm feeling odd," I sing.

"Get ready. Harriet will be here at 2200."

"The—who?"

"Harriet, with her car."

Goddamn it, Fallon, you better not be there. Or should you?

"Good for you."

"Oh no, you're coming with me. I won't hold tight to her without you."

"But I'm reading Pride and Prejudice!"

"You've read it ten times. Come on, Cat."

"Yet no one has told me I've bewitched them, body and soul."

"Someone will. Trust the universe. Don't chase, attract."

Miss Harriet Empire taught her about manifestations. They probably talked zodiac signs for hours.

"Alright, I hope the universe gives me the person who risked stuff for me."

"Manifest Miss Parker if you want," she whispers. "Be careful, she might have changed."

Ugh. She could slit my throat, and I'd still beg her to be close. If she asked me to die and come back, I'd Samantha Fraser myself just to see her first.

"So, what'ya gonna wear?"

"Clothes." I say. "My typical senior outfit."

"I'll do the same." Hannah and her sweaters.

"Quick shower. Prepare your outfit, 'ight?"

"Oo na." I reply.

White long sleeves, patterned vest, white skirt, socks, and Nike Air Max.

The bathroom door flies open. Hannah, in a bathrobe, looks fearful.

"There's a spider!" I chuckle, grabbing a jar. Being 5'7 has perks.

I catch the spider and lock the jar.

"Why not kill it?"

"Thought about his family. Movie night, y'know..."

"Cut the Dom Torreto act. We have 20 minutes! Get changed!" She rushes me. Poor spider.

The water is pink and nice, inviting me in. I devour it.

After drying and dressing, I look in the mirror. I look older.

"Harriet texted. They're at the parking lot. Ready?"

My breath hitches. Could she be there? Miss You-Know-Who?

Hannah and I hold hands to the elevator. The 8th-floor view is worth it.

"Oh my fu—" Hannah mutters. "What is it?"

"Rayne and Fallon are in the back seat."

Uh oh.

Dun dun dun.

"Hello?" she snaps her fingers.

We stop at a black Honda Civic. Miss Parker's driving, and the passenger has a punchable face.

I thought she said they were in the back seat?!

-

A/N

Hey hey hey please be kind and recommend good songs pretty please