The Perfection in Love - Part One

Chapter 13 - My Wife

He wasn't fine. Henry lay wide awake next to Oyin. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness of the room and he could make out the outline of the futon. Henry did not understand what he was feeling. He had always considered himself a level-headed person. But twice in one day, he had behaved irrationally, out of anger. He had walked out on Oyin and on her parents. Right now, he was supposed to feel remorseful for his actions, and happy that for the first time in their marriage, Oyin sought him out and apologized. Instead, all he felt was resentment and anger.

He was angry at Oyin for making a big deal about Olive's presence. He understood the jealousy. He really did. But it still irked him. It wasn't like he was always comfortable around her friends and family. It wasn't like he had not felt jealous of Dee. But he had stuck with it. He had not made a fuss. But the one time she was not comfortable, the one time she did not have everything her way, everything went up in flames.

He had done so freaking much for her! He had learned Yoruba for her; he had contributed thousands of dollars to make both weddings happen, because God forbid a Yoruba girl does not have a traditional wedding. He had gone above and beyond for her, even when it was inconvenient, even when he'd rather not. But she couldn't do the same for him.

He was so angry at Oyin's parents for getting involved in their marriage. He had known that Oyin's mom had a bias against him from the first day he met her. She thought he would be less of a husband to Oyin, because he was white. He had tried to get her to like him: he had been respectful to the point of deference. Yet, even after almost two years of knowing him, she still saw him as the white outsider, the one who was going to ruin her daughter's life. For no reason other than the color of his skin. It was so stupid and racist. He was tired of trying. He was done.

He was angry at Olive for whatever she was doing that was making Oyin jealous.

Henry sighed. He hated this. A couple of days back, all he wanted was for Oyin to come to him, to talk to him. She had done that. She had told him that she loved him, that she missed him, everything he had wanted to hear. In the moment, it had been so wonderful to hear. But as the night went on, it began to make him angry. It had taken all of his self-restraint to be polite through dinner. It annoyed him that she had so starved him of her love. He gave her himself in every way. But she doled out such small portions that hearing her say she loved and missed him was such a big deal.

Henry gently took her head off his chest. He needed some air. The room felt too small for all the thoughts and emotions coursing through him.

He should have realized Oyin would wake up. She was a light sleeper.

"Hey."

He sat up. "Hey."

"Are you okay?" she asked, her voice groggy with sleep.

"Yeah. I will be right back."

She smiled, as sleep began to overtake her. "Okay."

He stood up and walked to the balcony. He closed the doors behind him, rested on the railings, and put his head in his hands. The Phoenix night breeze wafted around him and he felt slightly better.

Henry.

Henry had been a Christian most of his life. He had become born again when he was nine, and he had forged on since then. He probably ticked every box for the quintessential Christian millennial: went on mission trips, served in his church as an assistant youth pastor... In fact, he had wanted to apply to Pepperdine University, but he had felt like the Lord was leading him to the University of Arizona instead. When he had met Oyin in his junior year, he had finally understood why. But in all of his Christian years, he had never heard the Lord as clearly as he did that night.

"Lord."

You don't have to carry it alone.

A verse floated into his mind, one of his dad's favorite verses, Psalm 94:19:

When my anxious inner thoughts become overwhelming, Your comfort encourages me.

He fell to his knees. "Lord, I need You. Please."

That night, Henry poured out his hurts and anxieties before the Lord. And the Lord heard him.