"i know that it breaks your heart
when i cry again,
instead of ghostin him."
—
tonight, jungkook heard her again. her soft sniffles were muffled with the pillow. he could not sleep. not because of the sound she make, but because he was worry.
"yerim." he calls, his right elbow lifted him up to get a clear view of his girl. "hm." he knows, she was afraid to answer. he knows she could not answer him with the voice he wanted to hear.
"you dreamt of him again ?" jungkook dare to ask, the question that has been hanging on his throat. it hurts him, his heart ache when the thought of yerim dreaming about someone else hit him. he is mad, why can't he be enough ? why can't he replace him ?
(18/10/2016) 05:11 pm
it wasn't an imaginary love story, not a dream love life. yerim had admitted that they did not really have the dream story of two lovebirds and a happy life. they fought sometimes. he made her cry, she made him cry and they even cry together in some circumstances. for them, their relationship is not toxic, or suffocating, or one-sided. it was beautiful with some flaws.
"jaehyun ah !" yerim shouted, running over his boyfriend with a chocolate bouquet on her hands. he waits for her, his lips refusing a smile but his eyes showing the opposite. "were you running or walking ?" he asked, judging her speed on running. everyone in the school knows how slow yerim run, she never had a good score in running. a soft, melodic giggles left her mouth as she hits his shoulder.
"leaving a bouquet of chocolates on my table ain't gonna make you a gentleman." yerim said, waving the mentioned goods in front of his face. "i wouldn't judge if you leave a hand-written note on it, but what do i get ? nothing but a bunch of chocolates." she places her hand over her hips, staring at the man in front of her. jaehyun roles his eyes, "be grateful, i would've got you nothing on OUR anniversary like you did. at least send me a long essay about how much you love me." he replies.
yerim walks before him, waiting for the bus coming towards the both of them. "i'm about to give you something more special, because i love you." she whispers, but loud enough for the man behind her to hear. he laugh, running and grabbing his girl and scoops her to his side. "i've always love you more than you do." he argues. the ride home was them bickering about who loves whom more along with jaehyun having to wipe the chocolate stain spread all over her mouth.
(19/10/2017) 2:46 am
"did you feel better ?" jungkook asks, spooning her close to him, leaving no gap in between. yerim nods slowly, her face staring blankly on the floor as she was placed on jungkook's lap. she feels bad for him. jungkook had always been a nice man. he loves her, he said that himself and yerim knows she is unable to not believe him.
"i'm sorry." the only words left her. all the nights, it's always been the same word repeated over and over again. jungkook hates it. jungkook hates the fact that yerim felt sorry for him. he wants her to know that he doesn't mind about her crying at nights. he knows, moving on from someone whom you loves so much hurts like a bitch. he had never been in the situation, but seeing how yerim cries, then apologizing next makes him realize, moving on wasn't a piece of cake.
but in his selfish way, he's mad. he tried everything. he gave her space, he comforts her, he gives her anything she might need. how come it never heals her ? how come she still thinks of him even after a year ? is he never enough to her ? what is jungkook to kim yerim ? is he just some sort of a toy for her to forget her ex-boyfriend ?
