"turns out freedom ain't nothing but
missing you, wishing i'd realize
what i have when you were mine."
—
today, taehyung sits on his kitchen counter again, facing the window showing the outside world. his knees on his chest as his arms rest on top. he sunk his face on the nape of his arms, breathing evenly as his tears slowly roll down his skeleton cheeks.
he remembers how she used to make him happy. taehyung did not looked this thin when he was with joohyun. she would never allow him to skip any meals. her cooking was always his number one choice. he was like a chubs, cute tummy and slightly fat cheeks. it was never called as 'stomach' when it was taehyung's.
she'd always had a special cute names for him only. he got so many pet names. "baby is just too mainstream, let me call you lollipop." she had always brag. as she said so, her hand always find its way to stroke his hair, or caress his cheeks. it was not just lollipop. there was marshmallow, peach, shortcake or even berry. there was more, taehyung is sure about that, he just couldn't remember it well.
she always knows how to treat him. she made him her baby, her best-est friend, her soulmate, her father, her brother and her love ones. she always knows what he likes, what he dislikes and what makes his mood rings change. taehyung knows whenever he is with her, he felt like he doesn't belong to anyone but hers only.
to say they never fight is a total lie. they fought almost all the times. mostly when she was on her period. they fought over a small things. like why taehyung always being so selfish, joohyun had never been in his shoes, joohyun is mad all the times and never understand what he is going through. but they make it up fast regardless. she apologized and always managed to find things that will comfort him. it wasn't hard to guess. he had always likes to eat sweets, and ice cream, or something spicy —based on his cravings—. joohyun never complains about it. she will ended up with a smile and foods for taehyung. and some assuring words.
she is two years older than him. so no question on why she is always more mature than taehyung is. she finds a way for most of their problems. make it up real fast so taehyung won't felt hurt. she knows taehyung has anxiety. he overthinks a lot and that's what worries her most. he always apologized, saying it was all his fault. that was why joohyun always whispers assuring words for him as he lays his head on her.
however a few things had changed these pass couples of months. a year ago, taehyung was accepted in his dreamt university —he wanted to be an actor—. he met new people and introduced to new cultures. he was upset that everywhere he goes, he had to think about joohyun. seeing his friends flirt with women makes him jealous. he wanted it too, like in middle school where he doesn't have to think about anyone. whenever he saw his friends flirting, they'd always ask "where is your joohyun ?" he wanted to answer with "she is studying law, having no fucking idea what am i doing here because she trusts me too much." but instead, he replies with a small smile.
cheat. everyone whispering, "cheat on her, she can't tell. you're good in acting that was why you're here in the first place." but he just can't. cheating would breaks joohyun's poor heart and he had made a promise that seeing joohyun's heart breaks in the last thing he wanted from her. taehyung isn't the type of men to break his promise. taehyung is the type of men that say bullshits and truly mean it. he wasn't very good at breaking promises.
and he was true to his words. joohyun's broken heart is the last thing he got from her. on december 28th, she had called him to meet up at their special spot —on a rooftop right below the moon—. he goes with a heavy heart. she said it was something important to discuss about. taehyung had thought joohyun noticed his changes in heart. he thought she saw how differently he treats her. so he decided to come out first. apologizing so many times but he did not really mean it.
