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YOU WILL HATE ME AFTER THIS CHAPTER IM SORRY

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I finished writing in my journal and continued burning the last of my joint. Sat up on the roof looking up at the fading sunlight. My sleeves just covering up my arms and my ripped boyfriend jeans made it impossible to stay warm. The cool March air was just getting warmer but still froze my skin.

"Nat are you up there?" The sound of Ashton's voice echoed from the grass below. "Yeah" I replied and threw the joint off the roof.

I heard him climbing up so I just stayed put.

"Man it smells like weed up here" he said and covered his nose with his sleeve.

"What do you want Ashton"

"Well. I came here to tell you that. Well I don't know what happened to you. I don't know where you are half the time. I don't know if you even love me anymore.." He sighed.

"I..." Was all I could say.

"Didn't think so" he frowned and then got up about to leave. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to make things harder.

I knew if I said anything then I would burst into tears without anything. "Goodbye Natalie" he said before climbing down.

And that was the last thing Ashton Irwin had said to me before leaving. The last thing he could have said before I left. The last thing I could have said before he left was goodbye. But I didn't, I didn't say anything. I just sat silent hating myself on that roof, stoned and worthless.

I slowly stood up and made my way down to the over hang. I climbed down the gutter and swung over to the window sill of my bedroom.

I lifted the glass window up a bit more and slid my legs through and onto the carpet.

I walked into my bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror and pulled out my medicine before popping a pill into my mouth.

I went back into my room and opened a drawer in my desk. In the drawer was a bunch of photos. The pictures I took on my Polaroid Camera Ashton got me for our one month anniversary.

I pulled the whole thing out of the desk and put it on my bed before sitting criss cross on my bed. I pulled my hood up and picked up the first picture on the top of the pile.

On the back said "Jan. 14. 2014" and undernieth said "forever".

I guess when people promise you a forever, you have to promise it back or they'll give up on you.

My heart suddenly started to heart.

I've never felt this way before, my heart was literally being torn from my chest and thrown to another state. I wanted to just jump off a cliff.

Ashton was all I had and now hes gone for good. He made me happy.

My life had been a complete mess sever since he came into it. Might be sad but it's the truth. He was the issue, but he was the best thing I've ever had.

Last year I would have never thought I'd date someone on the "lower level" because I was a cocky prick. My mom warned me about people like him. How they made you feel good but then leave you.

It wasn't his fault, it was mine. I gave up on everything, even him. So he gave up on me. Our whole relationship was just drowned in the rain. We weren't dating for very long, but he gave me the whole world, he gave me life, he gave me the reason to live.

If this is my life that I'm supposed to live, then I don't want to keep it.

I don't want to live.

______

3rd person

Natalie wiped her face and stood up from her sitting position. She thought she was ready for her life to end, she thought she would be fine and how God would just accept her and cradle her in his arms with only his warmth to offer.

Her arms hung loosely as she walked back into the bathroom and took the same bottle that was filled with pills she took daily, but this time she took all of them out.

Her hand cupped all of the pills and put three in her mouth before swallowing them dry.

She got a side cup of water with her left hand and swallowed a few more, then some more, then some more, and more, until the whole bottle was empty.

Her cheeks stained with tears and her soft sniffles sounded throughout the small bathroom.

She opened the bathroom door and then plopped herself down on the bed. She curled up into a ball and cried herself to sleep.

On the verge of her tiring she whispered one last sentence.

"Goodbye Ashton"

______

OMFG ITS OVER!!!

yes the book is finished now from Natalie's point of view. She is gone.

Buuuuuuttttttt I will be writing a sequel in about a month!

I know this was a short fanfic but I planned it to be tbh. I wasn't sure of ending it this way cause I knew people would hate me, but there will be an epilogue in third person, or in Ashton's POV so please lmk if you think I should do one of those.

No, I am not gonna "save" Natalie and make her all better and the ending will be all gucci and they have little Ashton's running around in the epilogue.. No.

I hate happy ending tbh. But most of my stories will have them.

I love you guys. Thank you for reading.

Expect the new fanfic in October or November :)

Love youz

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