Remember Me

Birthday Party

I am seized by confusion. It's one of those moments where you mean to react, but you suddenly forget how. As all these people sing to me, as I look at my name sloppily frosted on this sheet cake, as Juliette squeezes my hand — I am truly at a loss for words.

So strange. So very, very strange. I've come to appreciate these people: Nazeera is here, and Kishimoto, and Stefan, Brendan, Winston, Lily, Castle, Alia. Nouria. I don't actively feel any hatred toward them. I don't feel the need to punch any of them in the face. What a foreign feeling.

We stand in this new camp and the sky is a deep blue dripping constellations; the breeze carries a grassy fragrance through our little congregation.

Hope builds inside of me.
My heart rate speeds up.
I am free falling and flying all at once.

"Come on! You need to blow out your candles, Aaron," Juliette lightly tugs on my tie and leads me toward the cake. I can sense her energy — it is part of what makes me an Unnatural. It brings me back down to Earth immediately, from the simultaneous longing and excitement I was experiencing a moment ago. Her emotional aura is so soothing, so warm, and so beautiful. That's the thing about Juliette. Yes, she looks like a goddess; the most gorgeous girl I have probably ever seen — but something else is so, so breathtaking about her. It's her entire being. Her essence. I want to pour my entire heart into loving her. She deserves everything the world has to offer.

And now she is smiling back at me, slightly nervous, as we stop in front of the cake. I remember to smile.

A hand claps me on the back. It's Winston. "Nice dimples. Happy twentieth, man. Here's to surviving," he says with an easy grin.

"To surviving!" Brendan repeats in his familiar British accent. He looks at Winston with a spark in his eyes. I can feel the tension between them, in the air. It's like a magnet.

I run a hand through my hair and watch, still in awe, as my girlfriend strikes a match and dips the flame in several green candles. Happy birthday Warner, the cake reads.

I feel the memories slipping away. My father, scarring my back, leaving me to weep every year. I feel this moment instead. I feel the peace and relief that coats everyone around me.

Juliette looks at me expectantly, smiling softly. Her blue-green eyes are like crystals. They blink at me, fluttering lashes. "Well? Make a wish!"

I think and think and think. What could I possibly wish for? I think of Juliette and I wish to be by her side forever. Forever isn't long enough, though. I remember what my father showed me in that wretched prison in Oceania. When Juliette was being tortured by her own parents. My fists clench without my permission at the memory of her screams. I wish to have revenge on all who have wronged her, I wish to be with her for the rest of my life, I wish for her to be safe and happy, I wish—

"I'm starving and haven't had cake in years, so if you wouldn't mind..." Kishimoto begins. I nod at him and blow out the candles. The flickering ambers are replaced by smoke that rises into the air.

Cheers and laughter and clapping flood the area. I glance around at my friends and feel something I have never, in my entire life, felt.

I feel loved.
Not only by Juliette.
But these people are on my side.

It is such a sharp contrast to what I felt on base with my soldiers. I could feel it with Lena, when she loved me. But it was a selfish love. My mother must have loved me, but I can hardly remember our few moments together before she deteriorated. I don't believe in the after-life, but if it exists, somehow, I hope that she is watching this moment. I hope she knows that her little boy is doing okay. That he is — I am loved.