Fool's Paradise

Part 1

I never thought I would grow up to be so mediocre. I always believed growing up that with a good attitude and hard work; you could make your dreams a reality.

The problem is, my dreams change with the blink of an eye. Forget trying to build a career. I couldn't even stick with a major through college. So I chose the safe route, went through the business school and thought, "Hey, you know what sounds great? Adding an unrelated second major as a backup."

To no one's surprise I've had three jobs in the two years since graduating college, each completely different in both function and industry. Whoopee. And now my inability to simply choose and stick to one path takes up so much of my bandwidth I'm lying in bed at 3am complaining to myself instead of getting sleep before work.

I roll to my side in bed, hoping the view of my boyfriend sound asleep will finally inspire me to follow suit. He snorts and begins snoring like a Kodiak bear. Staring at him I wonder, what made me fall in love with him? Travis does have a certain caveman-like charm to him. And he treats me well. But his job, if you can call it that, as a part-time personal trainer at Smash Fitness barely pays his side of the bills. If we're evaluating the relationship with a Darwinist lens, he's not much of a winner. But its time to put a lid on this, only one crisis a night, Nick.

I roll over to my back once more. What if I had made some different choices, taken a different job offer out of college? Or not gone to college and become a writer? I vaguely remember in my dream last night I had done something like turn a writing career into working as a reporter at the local news station. That seemed fun. Maybe I should pivot into that? No, stop, it's time for bed.

I shake my head and stare at the ceiling fan spinning slowly; counting the times it goes around. One. Two. I don't have clean clothes for work tomorrow. Nope, focus on the fan; deal with that in the morning. Three. Four...five...

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The bathroom door creaks and I groggily open my eyes. My husband Luke is in the doorway, slowly opening it in an attempt to not wake me.

"You know, I read in a study people are less likely to wake up when people move around then normally because they're used to them. It's when people try to sneak around that our bodies instinctively wake us up." I wink at Luke who is sporting a grin.

"Well now that you're up, why don't we grab some breakfast together before I start my shift at the hospital," he shrugs as he steps into the shower.

"I'd love to babe," I respond as I slowly worm my way out of the bed. My eyes sluggishly open and I glance at the clock. 5:30 AM. It's not at all my ideal time to wake up, but Luke won't be home until I'm getting ready for bed tonight.

The unfortunate part about his work schedule at the hospital is the 12 hour shifts. But the payoff is he only works three to four days this week. It's not only good for our relationship, but it's great for his mental health too. Being one of the doctors for the Cardiovascular ICU at California's largest hospital is beyond stressful at times.

By the time I make it over to our closet, Luke is already finishing in the shower. I don some joggers and a tank top while he throws on his scrubs. You'd think just by looking at them hanging there it would be impossible to look good in scrubs. In reality, you only need to look like you walked off the set of Grey's Anatomy. A chiseled body and classically handsome face framed by messy brown locks frankly looks good in anything though. What did I do to get so lucky to be with him? I don't know, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

As I drive to Coco's Crepes, Luke's suggestion as a new place to try, I roll down the windows to enjoy the birds singing as the sun rises. Luke will beat me there but he'll order for me since he knows I love to enjoy the sounds and sights while I drive.

As I stop at a red light, I look around and see a Smash Fitness in the plaza to my right. Smash Fitness? Why does that ring a bell? I scrunch my face as I start driving again, trying to figure out this puzzle out.

Out of the blue I remember the dream I had last night. I groan, remembering the dreadful details. I had some sad office job I hated and was stuck in a relationship that I wasn't sure was right for me. The more I think about the dream, the more it comes back to me.

As I park my car I try moving on to happier thoughts. But for some odd reason I feel waves of regret over decisions that a dream me made. Why am I letting myself think like this? That's not reality. Plus in the dream I was considering starting a career as a newscaster I think?

I stop at the door to the cafe. I didn't want to be a newscaster in my dream. That was what I dreamt about in that dream.

The wind starts to rustle. Amidst the sounds of the leaves dragging across the pavement, I hear whispering. "...starting to realize...can't let him..." I look around as I slowly enter the restaurant.

Luke flags me over to our table with a concerned face. "You okay babe?" he asks as I sit down.

"Yeah, but along the drive I remembered I had the strangest set of dreams last night. I know this sounds right out of Inception but I swear dream me also dreamt. And it all feels more real the more I think about it." I pause, not wanting to tell him about the weird voice in the wind.

Luke pauses to think briefly amid a huge mouthful of pancake. "Well, dreams are unique to each person, varying in subject matter, vibrancy, etc. Some people don't dream at all, or at least they never remember them once they wake up. While others remember them as clear as a memory. I wouldn't worry about it. It's just a weird dream; you'll have a whole new one tomorrow."

Luke changes topics quickly to one of the patients he hopes survived while he was off to distract me, seeing the frustration on my face. Breakfast passes by quickly and we say a quick goodbye in the parking lot before he drives to the hospital while I drive back home.

Was that really just a realistic lucid dream? Have I had a lucid dream before? What did I dream about the night before last? My brain feels as though it's stuck at that thought.

Okay, rewind. What did I do yesterday? Maybe that will jog my memory. My mind goes blank. Why don't I remember yesterday? Do I remember how I met Luke...? The more I think about my present, the more I realize all of this seems totally new. Sure I know things about Luke, but what about me? Do I have a job? Where did I go to school? Why don't I remember anything about myself?

Everything freezes around me. I hear an Echo booming from every direction, "Pull him out, he'll crash his server if he goes any further."

My eyes snap open and I see nothing. I feel myself lying in a bed in a shallow pool of water. Cords are attached to me, hooked into me and restraining me on the bed. My breathing accelerates.

A flood light flashes on above me. I squint in the blinding light and see several cloaked figures approaching me. I scream, wishing for the nightmare to end.

Thank you so much for reading this first chapter! Please leave your thoughts, critiques, and suggestions, I really look forward to growing as a writer. Look forward to the next chapter coming in a few days!