Redamancy

Frailty

We are never so vulnerable as when we love- Sigmund Freud

It was well past midnight when Khushi had a strange dream. She was in a poorly lit area where the dim amber lights did nothing to help her and she and her mother were crossing the street. The road was busy and the headlights from the cars blinded them as they tried time and again to go to the other side.

When she looked to her side she saw her mother was nowhere to be seen. She frantically searched and saw her mother crossing the road unheeding of the traffic.

"Maa!" She called out. Her mother didn't hear her.

To her abject horror she saw a bus approaching at high speed and before she could do anything her mother was run over by the bus. Khushi sobbed in her sleep, her whimpers cutting through the silence of the inky night. She saw her mother but couldn't reach out to ger for some reason....

Arnav was sprawled out on his couch thinking of ways to win back his wife when he heard the mewling...

He frowned unable to locate the source of the sound at first and then his head snapped to hers.

Khushi!!! It was his Khushi!!

He got up hastily and walked over to her side crouching down to get a closer look at her face, his whole visage etched in collosal worry...

He saw her tear streaked face as she clutched the side pillow with all her might, teardrops running down her temple, eyes still closed...

"Khushi? khushi???" He gave her a rough shake to wake her up. She was scaring him..

Her eyes snapped open and she found him towering over her his eyes wide with concern.

She sat up and blinked as if to confirm he was really there...
Her mind took in the surroundings and she closed her eyes sighing...

A few days back she had had the misfortune of spotting a dove being crushed under the wheels of a car...she remembered having admired the beautiful bird from her balcony when she had been a witness to the nauseating sight...

That horrific memory had manifested in the form of this nightmare.

She had already lost her mother when she was 8...why then did her subconscious make her revisit those emotions all over again.

It was depleting...

"Khushi I am here...I am here...you are okay...!"
Arnav's voice felt like coming from far away...

She felt her forehead and face and they were cold with her sweat...
She looked up to find Arnav inching towards her and her heart screamed that this was her succour, the man she loved with all her heart and soul...

She wanted him yo hold her while she weeped her heart out...

Just as he moved to hug her and she started to respond, his biting words from before splashed her mind with what seemed like a bucket of ice cold water.

Khushi, mistake, his di, his family, his life...

She scurried back to the headrest and placed her pillow on her lap holfing it tight, looking down and not making eye contact.

Arnav's arms remained suspended in mid air as he realised with panic that she had rejected his touch...

But all of that could be addressed later...he needed to assuage her fears whatever they were.

He gulped trying to maintain the composure in his voice, the composure he didn't feel at this moment..Khushi's condition had rattled him...

"Khushi what happened? You were crying? What is it Khushi?" His tone was pleading, his eyes imploring her to tell him what plagued her so badly.....

"I am okay...I had a nightmare..." She said, her voice low, still not looking up at him.

"Khushi you know you can tell me...you can say whatever you want."  he lowered his head so that he could catch her expressions...but it was the top of her head that met with his line of vision and it frustrated him...

"Khushi you can tell me anything you want...you know that right?" He asked again..

"No, I don't know that....and I am not sure I can do that.." She said softly...

How could she bare her heart out to this man when she wasn't confident that he wouldn't use it later to his advantage?

She didn't know what to think about him anymore.

His piercing gaze was making her conscious...she wanted him to move away...

Khushi looked up, her liquid gold flecked irises glimmering with exhaustion, pain and tears, the blood vessels in her sclera distinctly red and swollen.

She was worn out. There was only so much that a person could take...

Arnav's heart bled at this aight of his wife...

"I am sorry I was a bother...I disturbed you...but I am fine now...I am just going to go back to sleep...I won't disturb you.."

"Khushi, I can't..."

"Please, I am requesting you...I don't want to talk about what happened..."

Arnav nodded briefly...

She shuffled to lie down and he stood up from the bed...

She was shutting herself from him...she wasnt fine...not at all...and she had almost cowered when he had approached towards her...

The very thought that his touch could be a source of discomfort to her made him want to hurt himself...

He had to get her to talk..... he'd do anything to get through to her.
But he knew this time it was easier said than done....

He walked over to the couch and sat down, his elbows on his legs, his hands steepled as he observed her...

After sometime he noticed she jad fallen asleep.

He lied down and stared at the ceiling...

What she thought of him was of no concern to him...He vowed he would bring back his Khushi from whatever dark place she was in and then he would spend his entire life making it up to her...

This was his last thought as he changed sides on the couch and a lone tear trickled down the side of his eye.

He stared at the armrest of the midnight blue couch, his mind full of Khushi and the fond remembrance of her abundant smiles that had now changed to stress and anxiety, and one of the major reasons for the change being Arnav himself, he thought grimly, hating himself.

Okay so that is the new chapter...Arhi do not listen to me and go off on a very different path than what I chart out for them...sigh...what to do!? Hehehe...

I had a very different update in mind but this is what came up...

Another important point...Arhi's background is going to be somewhat different from what has been shown in the show .. Khushi's will be vastly different, Arnav's...not so much...

I hope you guys like it..

Do comment dearies and let me know how you felt and whether this arhi works for you...goes a long way to inspire...

Ignore the typos..not proofread...

Take care

Lots of love to all...