Painfully Aware

chapter 1

"Mommy?" Bella asks.

"Yes baby?" her mother answers looking down at her five year old daughter with a fake smile.

Although her mother was trying to protect her, Bella knew she was scared. Most children fall for the fake smiles but Bella can't.

"What's wrong with daddy?" Bella asks from the hospital chair.

Her mother looks away for a second, trying to cover the tears forming in the corner of her eyes.

"Nothing baby, he's just ill" her mother answers.

"Miss woods?" a tall man with glasses and short brown hair asked.

"That'll be me" her mother says raising her hand and the mans eyes flash with one emotion that answers all Bella's questions, sad. "I'm sorry ma'am but your husband didn't make it"

The sting of those words was almost not there. The world felt like it was disintegrating as the news sunk in.

Her mother was crying silently, obviously not able to cover them up anymore. Rather then interfering, Bella allowed her mother to cry.

Eleven years later

"Morning mum" I say walking passed her in the kitchen.

"Morning Bella, have a good day at school" my mother replies, while sipping on her coffee.

"I'll try" I say while grabbing a banana and running out the door.

She seems happy without him. I know how she really feels but she is moving on.

"Bella!" my best friend, Selena, screams from across the street. "hurry up!" I scream back.

Selena runs over towards me and we start walking to school.

It's only a five minute drive. We'd rather walk though. "So it's your birthday this month" Selena says nudging my arm.

"I'm surprised you remembered that and I didn't" I laugh, thinking back to when my birthday actually was.

"your hopeless Bella" Selena chuckles. I laugh and push her slightly. "shut up"

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"Finally it's lunch" my best friend Joel says, out of breath. "I know right" Selena huffs and I just laugh at the two Babies in front of me that I call bestfriends.

"What are you laughing about?" Joel asks, causing me to stop laughing "Oh nothing, except for the fact that you two haven't stopped complaining since we got to school" I recall.

"Oh shush Bella, at least you don't have to deal with Colby in all your classes" Selena says pointing at the boy walking through the doors of the cafeteria. "Did you time when he walks through" Joel asks with his eyes wide.

As if summoned the popular Jerk looks over at us and smirks.

Fuck.

"well, well, well, if it isn't the three little pigs" he says smirking.

"If it isn't the big bad wolf" Selena says.

"he's certainly big" I say while smirking and pretending to judge his beautiful features.

What the hell?

"What was that that butter cup?" Colby asks and I feel my heart drop at the name. I recover and stare into is dark brown eyes.

"Butter cup? I am not your butter cup, I know your desperate for me but seriously get a life" I say and Colby goes dark red.

Well there's an ego boost for you.

Joel and Selena are practically in tears as Colby glares at me "Bella, if I recall correctly, you were desperate for me" he smirks and walks off with his popular friends behind.

If you think that I'm being a bitch then your wrong. Colby has been the most popular guy in school for years, but the reason why we have such a hatred for him is because he chose popularity over us. Yes we were friends with the big headed, two faced, Jerk.

He used to call me 'buttercup' and I had a huge crush on him.
We even went out for a little while before he left. I hate him now though.

"Bella" Selena said, pulling me out of my thoughts "You zoned out and looked upset, don't tell me he got to you again" Joel says as they both scan me with concerned eyes.

These two have been there for me through thick and thin. With the whole loosing Colby thing I haven't been able to keep myself together. With everything that has happened I haven't been able to keep it together, but Joel and Selena have been there for me no matter what.

"Im ok, just got lost in thought" I say, trying to making it sound true. "okay..." they both say looking at each other.

I just continue to eat my fries and look through instagram.

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The cold wind blows onto my face as I await the bus to arrive at school. Today was long and now I have a lot of homework to do when I get home, as usual. I check the time on my phone just as the bus pulls up to the school. 3:45. I jump on and sit in a spare seat, putting my bag on the row seat so no one can sit next to me.

"Hey buttercup" I hear a voice whisper and my head jolts up as I glare at the jerk in front of me. "Don't you dare call me that ever again" I growl and shake my head. He looks taken back for a second before re-grouping himself and sitting at the back.

We eventually get to my stop and I rush off the bus and into my house, greatful to be home. My mum is not home because she works until 9pm so I have the house to myself. I race upstairs and get a comfortable change of clothes before getting changed. Once Im more comfortable, I walk downstairs and get some food from the kitchen. Just as I put a pop tart in the toaster, my phone buzzes and I pick it up.

"Hello?" I answer.
"Hi, is this Bella Woods?" a deep voice asked.
"Yeah, Can I help you?"
"I'm Colby Adam's Father"
My heart sinks at the sound of his name "Okay? Why did you call me?" I ask, fed up with the conversation already.
"Look, I know what happened, but I also know that your looking for a job and I am offering you one as a writer"
"that's a nice offer but I don't think I'm cut out as a writer" I make an excuse.
"I have read your work Bella, your incredibly talented and we need you" he compliments me.
"I'm going to need time to think about it,"
"Oh I understand, but I need to know by Tuesday"
"three days? I'll see but you know what happened with your son, it is a definite con" I say "I know but you most likely won't see him and you'll have your own office"
"Thank you Pete but I'll think about it" I reply, ending the conversation. "No problem, bye Bella"
"Bye"

I hang up and sit on the counter, trying to make out what just happened, a writer? I don't know, it seems amazing but if colby is there then it's a complete no go.

My thoughts are interrupted by my toaster popping and I continue to eat and finish my homework.

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