He wouldn't look at him like he used to before.
Those, painfully familiar, blue eyes wouldn't look at him with hope. Wouldn't look up to him with admiration.
Those, hypnotizing, blue eyes won't gleam with curiosity when Naruto would look at him. Won't bury sadness underneath when Naruto would look at him. Won't mask the hurt when Naruto would look at him. Why? Because Naruto wouldn't look at him, at Kakashi, like he even knew him.
Blue eyes, blonde hair and tanned skin, didn't suit Naruto. Naruto didn't deserve them. He didn't belong to them. They all belonged to Kakashi's God.
How dare he look like his God?
His God was perfect. His sensei. His master wasn't clumsy loudmouthed idiot. His sensei wasn't just nothing but extreme chakra.
Naruto was exactly opposite of his God, then why? Who gave him the right to resemble to his sensei so much?
Kakashi didn't care that Naruto was, after all, the man's son. Naruto was different than his sensei, then why look like him? Why have the same appearance? He didn't deserve the same appearance!
Beside how can he teach someone with blue eyes, blonde hair and tanned skin. It didn't fit. Kakashi was an apprentice of a man with blue eyes, blonde hair and tanned skin. The man he worshipped. He couldn't teach someone that looked like someone he worshipped. Naruto nowhere near resembled his sensei in anything but looks. How could he teach that naive and angry child? This situation was just plain ridiculous. He didn't fit.
So Kakashi avoided him. He could barely look at Naruto without raging, flinching or wincing anyway.
Instead he focused on the other boy of the team, Sasuke. Sasuke was just like him. He fit.
Instead he brushed off Naruto to give tips to the third member, the only girl, of the team, Sakura. She was annoying but she fit.
Sasuke was like him.
Sakura was like Rin.
Naruto? Naruto wasn't like anyone. Not like Obito, not like Kushina and definitely not like Minato. Just the jinchuriki of Kyuubi.
He decided to ignore when those blue eyes would look at him hurt or angry. He decided to ignore the constriction in his chest when those blonde hair were ruffled by Iruka and Naruto acted as if Iruka was his only sensei. He decided to ignore the guilt, shame and anger he felt when that tanned face would flush with anger and embarrassment when either Sasuke or Sakura would mock him saying that he wasn't important and Kakashi didn't care about him a single bit and Naruto wouldn't retaliate to them like he always does. Because Kakashi knew, Naruto thought the same.
When Sasuke left, he realized he wasn't like himself, like Kakashi after all.
He left. Naruto left with Jiraiya without a second glance towards him, he felt uneasy at that.
Jiraiya, that man had taught a blue eyed blonde before. He will know how to teach another.
Kakashi's heart clenched everytime he thought of him. Those three years without blue eyes peering at him tightened his way stomach in an uncomfortable way. He brushed it off repeating to himself like a mantra, he didn't regret and he didn't care.
He returned to the village.
He wasn't a naive and angry child anymore. He was beginning to behave slightly like the man Kakashi admired and worshipped. Kakashi could look at him, if only a little.
Those blue eyes, he noticed, looked lesser and lesser at him with every passing day. He brushed of the pain in his chest.
He was like Obito. Naruto was like Obito. He put his first teaching, not to abandon a comrade, above everything and despite numerous problems in the way, he came for him, he came to rescue Kakashi.
He was like Rin. Naruto was like Rin. He saw Naruto numerous times help any and every villager with repairs after the destruction of village. Sakura didn't have a smile or patience like that, Naruto did and so did Rin. He reminded Kakashi of Rin more than Sakura ever did, Kakashi silently noticed.
He was like his father, Kakashi's father; Sakumo. Naruto was like Sakumo. He couldn't get the image out of his head when he saw Naruto trudge forward commanding the forces in war. He had seen his father twice or thrice commanding and Naruto would act just the way his father did.
He was like Kushina. Naruto was like Kushina. Just like Kushina, Naruto would hum a tune and look so domestic and vulnerable when cooking. Naruto even threatened like Kushina, using frying pan in one hand and spatula in another. Naruto would look so happy when someone would compliment his cooking, like Kushina. He cooked for the people he liked to see happy - like Iruka or orphanage children. Kakashi desperately tried to squash his rapidly growing jealousy and sadness that he wasn't one of those that Naruto wanted to present new dishes to.
Now with his Kage robe fluttering in the air lightly. Now with Naruto's cape like Kage robe fluttering in the air lightly he couldn't unsee the image of Minato. Not in the place of Naruto, no. He saw Minato beside Naruto supporting him with a proud smile. Today seeing the Nanadaime Hokage kanji scribbled on a cloth resting on those broad shoulders, he can't help but take his words back. Those blue eyes, blonde hair and tanned skin suited him greatly.
Today he sees Naruto, compares him with Minato but differently.
Minato may have been his God but Naruto, Naruto was everyones, was God to all five elemental Nations.
Even with Obito's eye he could never see Naruto because he purposely decided to blind himself.
That mantra doesn't work anymore because yes he does regret and yes he does care.
Again, Minato may have been his God but Naruto was his Everything. And all his life, even when the answer was just before his eyes, he was blind and could never see.
Kakashi masked his emotions and pretended not to notice when Naruto wouldn't bother glancing at him.
Kakashi didn't dare try confront Naruto, how could he? He knew he deserved the cold shoulder for the rest of his life.
Kakashi could look at Naruto, could see Naruto but, he wouldn't look at him like he used to before.
Those blue eyes, that now he loves so much, wouldn't look at him with hope. Wouldn't look up to him with admiration.
Those, hypnotizing, blue eyes won't gleam with curiosity when Naruto would look at him. Won't bury sadness underneath when Naruto would look at him. Won't mask the hurt when Naruto would look at him. Why? Because Naruto wouldn't look at him, at Kakashi, like he even knew him.
Kakashi could look at Naruto, could see Naruto but he was too late, like he always was, because Naruto just wouldn't look at him anymore.
