Truth and Lies

Chapter 1

** JJ's POV **

We sat in a circle on the floor of my house, beer bottles and wine bottles scattered all over the place. I think Reid was the most sober, but Emily and I were far too gone.

"Let's play truth or dare." Someone suggested, I honestly couldn't tell who.

"I'll go first." I volunteered, finishing my drink.

"Truth or dare, Jayje." Emily, I think, slurred.

"Dare." I was feeling bold, but then again, I really wasn't myself.

"Kiss me." Emily dared me, and I didn't hesitate to dive right on in there. "Wow, easy there." She laughed, and I couldn't help but giggle too.

The rest of the night went with a laugh, Reid and Morgan were the last to leave.

"Come on, pretty boy, I'll take you home." Morgan said.

"I'm fine." He protested, but Morgan said he was asleep within five minutes of climbing in the car.

Emily was way too drunk to drive home. She was currently singing in the kitchen loudly and definitely out of tune.

"Em, you need to go to bed. Come on, take my bed."

Emily didn't protest like Reid did, but followed happily and lay down, snoring softly almost as soon as her head had touched the pillow. I spent the night just watching her sleep, moaning quietly every now and again. When she made a noise, I would gently rub her back and she'd turn over, going back to sleep. I don't think she ever noticed.

I guess I've always known I'm bisexual, but I prefer girls. I used to get very confused when I saw girls that I liked, because I was extremely religious, and my Mom taught that girls liking girls was bad, sinful. But as I grew up, I started to find myself being more and more attracted to this one girl. She was in the grade above me all through school until high school. After a tragic accident, she fell off the wagon a little and was held back a year, to my year. I spent the whole last year of high school just watching her, until I screwed up the courage to ask her out. It didn't really work out, I guess she was straight and she said no, but I was so embarrassed that I stopped looking at girls.

I tried to force it out of myself with a blade each night, but it never worked. I still like girls, a lot, but every scar on my arm just reminds me of the pain I went through, seeing girls that I liked but could never have.

It was probably the alcohol, but when I kissed Emily, everything felt so right. Now it's painful because I have to work with the woman that I want to be with everyday, and I'm too ashamed to tell her the truth.