winter's child

Three

Ringing. Incessant ringing. I curl in a ball and use my shoulders to try and cover my ears

It's still there, even louder and more painful.

I wail with pain, but the ringing reaches a crescendo and drowns me out.

I reach my hands up to plug my ears and see only one. Everything inside of me stops. Even the ringing.

Up to my right elbow, there is nothing left but a bloody stump. I see bone and muscle and sparking wires and then black.

The next thing I remember is waking up, screaming, choking on a tube and wires attached everywhere.

I spit the tube out as a rush of memories comes back.

A nervous glance down proves me correct. My right arm ends too soon, handless. A pink flecked bandage is wrapped thickly around it.

The door slams open and I jump. A very grim Mr. Stark walks through.

"You're awake," he says bluntly, "How does your arm feel?"

"Missing," I murmur.

"As soon as it heals, we'll have a prosthetic for you. Do you want to get fit for that today?"

My face scrunches in confusion. "What?

"Do you want to have a prosthetic fitting today?" He asks tiredly.

I still can't process it. I know exactly what it means but my mind won't accept it. "A... prosthetic?"

"A fake limb to replace the one you lost."

My stomach turns over violently and I wretch all over the hospital bed sheets.

Mr. Stark presses a button on the wall and Mommy comes rushing in. She drags me from the bed and wipes my mouth, my own hand too shaky to do anything.

"Where's Daddy?" I whisper.

"Just down the hall," she soothes.

Her arms lift me up and take me away while we wait for a fresh bed.

With my backwards view I see chairs and TVs and low tables in this new room. Jolting, unsteady footsteps come towards us.

It's Daddy. He looks like he hasn't slept in a week and his blue eyes are almost grey.

Mommy hands me over carefully. I watch his eyes scan my face for injuries, calming a little when he sees I'm fine. Then they reach my arm.

His hand touches it, the metal one. I can hear his breath catch.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no..." he mutters uselessly.

Silent tears stream down his face, eyes still on my arm, hoping it's not real. I see Mr. Stark enter from behind. Daddy does too because he turns sharply.

Mommy pulls me out of his arms and rushes out of the room. But I still hear their voices, one tired and worn out, the other broken. I watch through the slivers in Mommy's red hair.

"What the fuck happened?!" Daddy shouts.

"Barnes, calm down-"

"Calm down?! And how the hell do you expect me to do that? My daughter is missing a goddamn limb!"

"I swear, we tried everything."

"Apparently not!"

"You can't blame me for this! It was her choice and everyone was aware of the risks."