winter's child

Remember

They carry me out of the building, fresh scars rubbing against woolen clothes. We drive, but not home.

"Where are we going?" I question.

"The compound," Daddy says.

"Why?"

He glances nervously at Mommy, "Ummm..."

She peers down at me, "We're just staying there for a little."

"Ok," I glance up, "What did they do to me?"

A deep sigh and a knowing glance between them. "They-you were triggered. The technology system for your electricity inside you had some programming," Daddy holds me close, "It means you could be forced to do things, bad things with your powers without knowing a thing."

Mommy adds, mostly for Daddy, "Stark said there were weird brain signals and unusual electrical pulses in her system. He thinks HYDRA might be able to trigger her remotely." I watch them worrying, forgetting that I'm listening. I stay silent, waiting to hear what I am.

Daddy's face sharpens darkly, "That would make sense why she has the metal skeleton instead of a serum. And that would explain why it's fused to her bones and implanted in muscles; in a way it's easier to control. She couldn't break out of it because it's not a haze, it's inside her body." 

"Tony said he put some stabilizers at power points to weaken the programming if they try to switch her again."

"But why switch her now? I'd doubt they know where she is-"

"Hopefully it's just HYDRA trying to get one of their play things back," Mommy spits venomously. Her fists curl, "because if it's anything else..." Her face contorts with anger and pain and memories from long ago. Daddy puts a heavily comforting hand on her shoulder as terse, fog-like silence envelopes us.

I finally pipe up, throat itching, questions burning, "But why didn't they just take it out of me?"

"Because it could've killed you, dollie. We don't know enough get it out safely. And I-we couldn't bear that," he looks down at me with tired eyes, "Mommy and Daddy love you so much, so so much. And if we ever lost you...our world would come crashing down. You are everything to us."

Silent silvery tears drip drip down my soft face. Mommy slides over, "Tanya, we will never ever let you go. I don't know what I'd do without you and how I survived before I had you in my life. We love you forever and always." I curl in their laps, clutching them to me with small, scarred arms. 

"I love you too."

Just over a year ago, I was too terrified of everything besides the monotonous desperate struggle of a bombed out city to consider that maybe my birth mother didn't really love me. That she wasn't really family. I was too afraid to think that maybe someone out there would actually love me, keep me safe. Now that I have it, my grasping childish hands grab at anything I can, desperate to stay. And it's a little easier when two other hands clutch yours.

Daddy presses his face into the top my head, smiling and teary. Mommy has arms around us both, giving me gentle kisses and grins.

As we walk into the compound I hold both their hands, feet swinging. I accidentally kick some snow on to Mommy. For a second we freeze. Then she grins wide and kicks snow at my feet. Daddy winds up a snowball, hitting her square on the back.

"James!" she shrieks, "C'mon Tanya, help me get Daddy!" I smile and build snowballs behind a bush. They whizz over my head. I decide to launch one and take a huge swing as I leap from the bush. 

I gasp before it even hits him. It hits Uncle Steve right in the side of his face. He stands frozen before hucking one right back.

"This isn't fair!" Mommy shouts.