Chasing Pavements

four

4
-
𝚅𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚊

"Vernamina," My father walked into my room and shut the door behind him.

Though my father never raised a finger at me, his demeanor and piercing eyes were enough to send shivers up my spine. His handsome features were enhanced by the crisp navy-blue suit he wore. It was no surprise that my mother chose him; who wouldn't?

I came with empty hands, even as I tried to reminisce on precious memories with him. That's because I never felt a connection with him. He wasn't like the typical fathers you read about in books, the ones who would give their own life for their inestimable daughter; no, he wasn't like that. He'd rather jeopardize my life for the sake of his own. He never harmed me, but he also never protected me from harm.

"Father," I acknowledged him.

The scrunching of clothes and shoes on the carpeted floor echoed in the awkward silence between us. He sat on the edge of my bed, directly beneath my feet. His face turned sideways as he leaned on his bent knees. The creases on his brow and the lines that marred his smile reminded me of how time had passed. Day by day, he was getting older and older. My father was born ten years earlier than my mother. Apart from the obvious salt and pepper hair atop his head, he barely looked older than 47 at the age of 67. A wave of melancholy washed over me. I wished we could have spent more time together, bonding in the way that fathers do with their daughters. I've been dormant for a long time. The languishing I've long forgotten.

He swallowed and cleared his throat. He has a small smile on his lips. One I'd never heard of before. "How are you, Paidi Mou?"

My eyes were red in the corners. Who knew that hearing my father say "my child" would bring me to tears? Perhaps it was the amount of affection in every word that left his lips, or perhaps it was my lack of it. Affection. It came from a family member I'd hoped to receive it from.

"All right. I'm bloodied and bruised, but I'm fine." My tongue was laced with sarcasm, and the words spilled before I could stop myself. To my relief, he didn't take offense, and his grin widened.

"I've come here to... apologize."

As his brows knit together, my eyes widen.

"I was never a good father. I'm sorry to say that I've never even been a father to you. I stood there and watched as you were tortured. Vernamina, my child, believe me when I say I regret every moment I didn't step in to help you. Every night, it haunts me." He looked into orbs of green and blue light. "I have let you down. More than a thousand fingers could be counted... Someone is looking for you. I have no idea who or where they are. However don't fret. I will no longer let them harm you. This is the bare minimum of what I owe you."

He caressed my cheek and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear before leaning in for a soft kiss on my brow. I slumped back onto my pillow as the door closed behind him. I sobbed, my hot tears soaking the sheets. I cried tears of joy and sorrow.

Happiness as a result of the amount of softness and fondness that held his eyes. His words; sadness because his words still hurt me. He was never genuine. I knew he was only saying goodbye. A tearful goodbye to leave us both on a sentimental good note.

-

The following morning arrived. I wore a short-sleeved black turtleneck and a black tennis skirt, topped with a cropped white cardigan with the strings tied into a modest ribbon. Under the white knee-high socks, my legs were snug and warm. My feet were adorned in a pair of mary jane platforms.

I sat on the balcony railings' broad surface. As my feet swayed back and forth, the smooth cement felt cool against my skin. The sun is shining brightly in the sky. Time did not stand still. It was pacing around me. It was as if it was taunting me that I would never be able to return. It compelled me to push forward, and I regret every furtive glances. The light shown has been replaced with a dimmer. In place of the sun, the moon rose. My gaze follows the trail of ants marching to one of the massive plants.

A cool breeze brushed up against my skin. My exposed skin was covered in goosebumps. I should probably go back inside.

A hand reached behind me as my feet touched the ground. My protests were muffled by a handkerchief. My vision became cloudy. My legs limped. I was gone in the blink of an eye.

-

"U nas yest' devushka." As I regained consciousness, my head throbbed with pain. "Ona ne mertva. Ona prosto bez soznaniya. Ne otpravlyayte den'gi grekam yeshche. We shall see to it first if she really is of Yakovna's blood."

My pupils dilate slightly. It all came back to me, the apology, the kidnapping. I looked down, and the sight of my clothed body brought me temporary relief.

Two muscular men sat in the driver's and passenger's seats, respectively. Both had tattoos all over their bodies; one had raven hair, various sizes of earrings dangled from his pierced ears, and his knee propped up as he sat in the passenger seat. In the rearview mirror, I caught a glimpse of his electric blue eyes. His partner, on the other hand, is the polar opposite. He had brown skin and hair the color of carnelian. A pair of thick sunglasses shielded his eyes from the sun. The gleaming Glock that had been placed between them did nothing to reassure me that I was safe. Fear was pulsating through my veins.

They spoke in a language that I knew better than my mother tongue. I sent a silent prayer to whoever was listening, thanking Damocles for forcing me to take language classes in high school.

Who were these men? Why did they choose me? Why did they owe money for the my family?

As I lay in the back seats, I squirmed. My hands were shackled behind my back. I was gagged by an unpleasant cloth. Sweat had matted my brow. When I moved my feet, I discovered that they were also bound.

What were they planning to do with me? How did they even get past security; my guards were never sluggish. If one of them took a break, the other would stay behind to protect me. My heart pounded against my chest, and the ropes that limited my movement heightened my anxiety. My lungs constricting, it became more difficult to breathe. I writhed up and down the leather seats. There was a light sheen of sweat on my brow, and there was no doubt that my back was drenched in it as well.

"Pakhan prikazal nam vernut' yeye s odnim sinyakom." The man with the piercings spoke up. "Won't he receive your head if he finds out we hit her?" His tone was uncertain.

"Milorad, we didn't even touch her. We did everything we could to get her."

They conversed casually, switching back and forth between English and Russian. The one with the sunglasses, who I later learned was named Dyonev, and the one with the piercings, who I later learned was named Milorad, were both unconcerned about my wriggling. I saw their ignorance as an opportunity to loosen my grip.

"What is the Pakhan's need for her?" Milorad inquires.

"It's for leverage." Dynonev responded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Even then, we never harm women or children."

"The Pakhan, Milo, will not harm her. She is only meant to be a threat to Yakovna."

When the gag fell from my mouth and hung loosely around my neck, I cheered internally. My training with Damocles had come in handy. I never wanted to use them, but I am grateful that I could at least save myself. I wasn't sure if my family was coming to my aid, but if Dyonev's words were true, I had concluded that my father had sold me. I stifled a bitter chuckle. I knew better than to put my faith in him apologizing in order to gain my favor.

My hands and feet's ropes loosened. I quickly threw them away. My gaze was drawn to the men in front of me, only to find them arguing about the Russian soccer team. I softly yanked on the door handle with my stealthy hands. It wasn't locked.

I shook my head in disbelief at their stupidity. Did they truly underestimate me, or did they simply assume I'd never try to flee? In any case, their stupidity favored me at the time.

My gaze was drawn to the fast-moving road. I think I could do it. I opened the door whilst also internally hyping myself up. The loud click reverberated throughout the vehicle, causing the pair in front of me to shift their gaze to me with wide eyes.