Chasing Pavements

two

2
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𝚅𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚊

My heart was pounding beneath my rib cage. I unfolded the papers. My eyes widened in surprise. No, no, no. What exactly is this?

MISSOURI DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND SENIOR SERVICES

BUREAU OF VITAL RECORDS, P.O. BOX 570, JEFFERSON CITY, MO 65102

CERTIFICATE OF DECREE OF ADOPTION

Parts I, II and III of this form are to be completed by the petitioner, attorney for the petitioner or the child-placing agency representative (if applicable) and filed with the petition or

INFORMATION ABOUT CHILD BEFORE ADOPTION

NAME OF CHILD AT BIRTH OR NAME AS SHOWN ON BIRTH CERTIFICATE:

Yakovna, Vernamina Klavdia Elixir

SEX :

Female

DATE OF BIRTH:

04/24/1999 - 09:07h

I went completely still. My eyes must be playing tricks on me. My hand, like the piece of paper, shook. The door slammed open, revealing a maid, before I could finish reading it. Thankfully, it wasn't one of those maids who would terrorize me if they had the opportunity to be alone with me in the same room. She kept to herself and pushed her trolley somewhere far away.

I tucked the book in its previous spot. My thoughts returned to the adoption certificate I discovered as I walked back to my room. I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm pretty sure my name isn't Klavdia and I'm not a Yakov. I head out of the library.

I couldn't possibly be adopted, could I? I've been told numerous times how much my mother and I resembled each other. Everything about her looked the same, from the strands of her hair to the freckles on her skin. The only difference was a few facial features that were barely discernible to a stranger's eye and one that stood out the most. Our eyes. Hers were a deep blue like the ocean. My eyes were a lovely ocean blue and emerald green. I had heterochromia iridium, also known as heterochromia iridis. It was a rare mutation that caused my eyes to be different colors.

My shoes' soles pressed up against the soft dirt and grass. My feet led me to the gardens but I'm too engrossed with my own thoughts. Water squelched close to me. My gaze was drawn to the person holding the garden hose. Damocles, my cousin, appeared, dressed in denim overalls, arm-length yellow gloves, and a straw hat that sat on top of his head.

"Hey!" I reprimanded him as he sprayed me with water. "Dame, stop it! I swear to all that is good in the world that if my socks get wet, I will castrate you!"

His lips curved into a Cheshire cat grin. "I'd better write my will then," he said as he covered half of the hose's opening with his thumb, increasing the water pressure.

I squealed as my clothes have been soaked in water. As my sock-covered feet quashed inside my sneakers, my hair matted to my face. Whilst he sprayed water in my face, my eyes closed. I knelt to the ground in an attempt to protect myself. My hands were in contact with the dirt beneath me. I scrunched up the soil in my hand and threw it at him. In the midst of the water that was slowly trickling down his face, I peered one eye out. I made a dash for it, a big grin on my lips.

We trampled on each other as we ran. As a result, our clothes are in shambles, and we have dirt stains on our skin.

"So," the letter o stretched his words as I wiped my face with a towel. We'd both just stepped out of the shower. "What's up?"

I turned to meet his slouched form and raised brow. "I came across something in the library books..." As soon as he asked his questions, the happiness I had felt vanished.

"Did you discover a dead body?"

I laughed. "No, no... I... I found adoption papers," I furrowed my brows, "And it had my name on it. Except for my last name and the fact that I had a third name, everything was exactly the same as on my birth certificate " My face contorted.

"Are you certain they were yours?"

"I never got past my birthday because a maid barged in before I could confirm the whole thing. My surname, on the other hand, never really stuck with me. Yakovna, Dame, was written there. I couldn't possibly be, could I?" He froze.

Yakovna was a force to be reckoned with, the last name of the Russian bratva who stood tall against all other mafias. Oh, Hedeon Klavdii Yakovna, how his name frightens me. He made his identity known to everyone who had wronged him. Having it carved in his mother tongue characters on their bodies. He, like many others, had done numerous things that made him despised by the other mafias. The Germans are his most formidable foes. I pray and hope that I never have to face the Bringer of Death, as he is widely regarded.

"There are quite a few people with the same surname as him. And I am absolutely certain that whatever you saw was some sort of prank or something. Let's put it that way. Now, would you like to accompany me on a tour of the city? It would help to clear your mind." He was in a frenzy when he spoke. His gaze evaded mine while his lips stammered.

Anyone with knowledge could see that he had lied to me. Damocles had always been an untrustworthy liar. Even when I was wearing pigtails and a My Little Pony shirt, his habits remained the same. His lips twitched and he fidgeted constantly. I knew he was trying to steer me away from this subject in order to protect me, to protect me from what was to come. But, just to put my mind at ease, I accepted his offer.

But, even as we sat in his challenger, the wind in my face and my head out the window, it did nothing to alleviate my concerns and worries. Even when we were eating to our hearts' content or playing 'til we died at the arcade. A small voice in my head would constantly remind me of the papers. It made me wonder if that was why I'd always been mistreated. All of the torment and demons I've spent my life battling, all because of who I was. That I was not theirs. I needed answers. However, I refused to acknowledge the thought. I was conflicted. I wasn't sure if I wanted to discover my origins or seek out those who had abandoned me. Or to simply remain as I am, forcing myself to fit in with people who refuse to show me even the barest amount of affection.

The only barrier that prevented me from making a decision was hesitancy. I didn't want to be hasty, nor did I want to become oblivious.

"Shhhh!" Damocles was hushed.

We arrived at the manor after midnight. Damocles had done nothing to mitigate my fear, and my back was drenched in sweat as I tried to make as little noise as possible. I had felt envious of him at times. He was free to do whatever he wanted. Never having to be constantly aware of his actions, always remaining silent and acting as if he didn't exist. I'd never considered myself green with envy. But I guess everything and everyone had simply been too much for me to bear. I was exhausted beyond depiction.

"Damocles, if you don't shut up, I'll leave you out in the cold." I said with a firm voice.

"Alright, I'm sorry. I'll shut up."

He continued to whistle what I could only guess was WAP. We arrived at my room and exchanged hugs before departing. I looked up at the glow-in-the-dark stickers that had been stuck to my ceiling. I'm forcing myself into a dark abyss. I had no idea how tired I was until now.