A Summer to Remember

Chapter 17

The days moved by slowly and would be rushed when my mind was off of him. Work seemed to be the place that made me escape my thoughts and demons. It was generally buzzing and impossible not to lose yourself in the chaos, but tonight it was quiet and open. It was move in day for mostly ever college student and back to school for seniors and under. Vacation season had ended and my thoughts followed me throughout the day and night. I could feel Zoe and Jake doing all they possibly could to keep me happy and forget him, but it never did happen. 

He was everywhere I turned. Every time I someone that resembled him, my heart would race and then I'd call out his name and that person would never turn towards me. My heart would break more if it could, but it was already shattered in molecular pieces and every bit was crushed by him and Drew. Neither man was like each other but they both had the same effect on me. They were my drug.

Even though I constantly heard from Drew and how much he wished he could have stayed, I never did hear from Sam after the letter. I kept it with me hoping it would make him appear, but each time failed to do so. I rarely ever slept in my own bed these days and would constantly attempt to catch Sam's scent from his bed. 

The people that always watched me walk in and disappear would often whisper and wonder if I was just keeping the place clean or hiding something. They didn't ever have the nerve to ask me, they would stop talking once I looked at them and go right back to being nosy when I faced forward.

I walked into the apartment and smelled the air and looked around hoping he was back early and never contacted me, but he wasn't there. A ping in my chest would automatically form and I would break down. Zoe tries to keep me away, but she's never any good at it. I always end up on his bed, holding his sheets, face down in his pillow. Suffocating because of him. 

I went to start my nightly routine with heading to Sam's apartment. My key no longer fit and I wasn't allowed access. They changed the lock. I rested my forehead on the door and hot tears streamed down my face. I headed back to my apartment.

Zoe wasn't home and had left a note.

They're changing our locks tomorrow morning. Here's your key!
I'll be gone all week, cruise with Jake. Love ya sweet cheeks. My rent is on the counter.

I sighed and placed the key on my key chain and made my way to my bedroom. I checked my computer, I had at least ten emails from my professors with what I need to bring to their classes the first week. Notebooks, laptop, pens (blue or black only!!). Others wrote not be late, especially on the first day. I didn't need to worry much of it. My earliest class was on Tuesday and that was at ten in the morning. 

I closed the laptop and laid back. I dreaded starting college, I had spent most of my past summers doing as much college work as possible and I did as much college courses in high school. Although most had paid off, since I didn't stay in state a couple classes did not transfer. Luckily for me, I was able to get them out of the way this year. I ran a hand through my hair and looked at the pictures hung on my wall. 

Most were of me and Zoe, but there was one here and there of other people that I will probably never see again. Senior year filled up a fourth of wall, my last homecoming, my last soccer game, prom, everything. I smiled remembering each photo. 

There was one of me on my friend, Trey's shoulders. I was in a t-shirt and jeans and he was shirtless. It was obvious that we were both wasted and that explained the photo under it. Me falling off of him because he moved and I wasn't balanced. I laughed remembering the bruise I had on my shoulder from it. 

The last photo I had on my wall was of me and my other senior soccer girls in our gap and gowns. We were all smiling and had our arms around each others' shoulders. Our varsity coach was in the background making a funny but pained face. We were his first group of girls to watch go from freshman to seniors at our school. It was hard to say goodbye to such a good friend but we all knew at that point and time, we'd meet again. But now I wasn't too sure. I didn't have the money to head back home during semester break and play in the alumni game. My heart ached, but I'd find away. That was a long time away.

I grew tired of memories on my wall and decided to shower before I went to bed. I headed to the bathroom. Turning on my play-list and stripping. 

I took a hot shower, and for once the warmth was comforting to some extent. I sighed of relief and began singing with the music playing on my phone. I was dancing and singing and having a good time, I hadn't noticed my music stopped playing. I waited a bit, assuming someone had called and the music would turn back on, but it didn't. I rolled my eyes annoyed that I was going to have to leave the peace and warmth of my shower.

"Fuck, I thought I put the play-list on to repeat." I began to walk out of the shower when a throat was cleared. I froze in my tracks and didn't dare to peak around the corner. I pressed myself to the wall trying to hide, but they already knew I was here. 

"You did."