Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Chapter 4

“I'm sorry.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“Addy, are you seriously going to do this?” My shoulders shrug, shifting the weight from foot to foot while he looks down and sighs. “I know there's nothing I can say that's going to make you feel any better, and I'm sorry that I did this to you.” His voice has a tinge of sincerity, and I just want to tell him it's fine, but it's not. Instead, I just point over to his stuff. “Your stuffs in there.” His brown eyes look from it and then stare at me. “Don't do this.”

“You're the one making this hard.” Things are quiet for a moment before he takes another step forward to where there's no space between us. Jack's hand sets on my cheek, the rough thumb tracing along the bone hidden beneath the skin.

The hard lump has returned in my throat, and I can't speak. Being this close to him, his breaths on my face, things almost feel normal. “I love you, Adriana.” And I want to say it back. This is someone who knows my secrets, my past, and my body like the back of his hand. He tilts my chin up, pressing his lips to mine, and my eyes fall shut and my hands press against the panel of the door. I don't kiss back. It takes every bit of me to not kiss him back, just thinking of the other girl's bubblegum lips is enough to make my stomach drop again. Breaking it and looking down, his breath exhales and my eyes start to water again. “Can't we please try and fix this?”

“I don't know. Maybe. Not today.” I can't bear to look at him.

His arms wrap around me, kissing my head and I don't return either the hug or look. Bending to pick up his boxes, I turn and open the door and step inside. So much for talking.

It's the weirdest feeling; caught between hating someone and loving them. And I suddenly don't feel like doing anything, just like I have for the past five days. I know I should be out doing something; getting my mind off him, but I shuffle back to the bedroom and lay down on the naked mattress, curling up and shutting my eyes.

I wake up possibly half an hour later disoriented, the shrill ring of my phone coming from somewhere else in the house. I get up and reach it just in time, answering. “Hello?”

“Addy, are you at your apartment?” Alex.

“Yeah, why?” Rubbing my eyes and yawning.

“I'm coming over, unlock the door.” Before I can protest the sudden invitation, he already hung up. I suppose I could just leave the door locked, but I haven't seen Alex in a while either. Unlocking it, I slump down into the recliner and wait.

He comes in about ten minutes later. He looks like he always does but with a few days worth of stubble on his face, and his hair looks a mess. “You look terrible.” His voice quips, sitting on the couch arm next to the recliner. “You're one to talk.” The brunette gives a small smile, and then sighs.

“Look, I know you feel like shit after everything that's happened, but you know he cares about you.” Ah, the old the old best-friend-comes-and-talks-to-the-crying-girlfriend technique. “If he cared he wouldn't have done it.” He reaches out and brushes a piece of messy hair from my face.

“I'm not trying to excuse what he did, but you know he cares. He still does.” I look up at this man sitting across from me.

“Did you know?”

“About Jack and Isabella?”

“No, about the fucking moon race. Yes, you idiot.” Snappish as the comment is, he just narrows his eyes and sighs, letting it slide. “Not much longer before you found out.” I bury my face in the arm of the chair and groan. “Is this how you want it to end? I remember you said you would fight for this relationship, or was that just when it was easy and happy?”