-GageAdams-
I heard the front door close as I sobbed, I can’t believe he didn’t tell me. After everything I did for that boy. All I get is ‘I was scared’ and ‘I’m sorry’. I’m not that self-centered of course I still care for him; I just don’t understand why he wouldn’t tell me. We have been best friends for a long time now, and he still doesn’t trust me enough to tell me he’s gay. Is he that insecure? Does he really believe I would just leave him? Shit. I banged my fists on the counter so loud that it actually scared me. I forgot I told him that I was leaving him, one of his only friends. I’m such an asshole. I made my way to the couch and sat down. I’m sure he just needs a little time to think things through.
“I’ll call him soon…” Is the last thing I said, before I fell into a dreamless sleep.
-NoahDavis-
I screamed loudly and tried to break free of the grasp around my waist. Giggles erupted behind me; it turned into a whole laughing fit. Before I knew it the firm hold on me was released and I turned around to see Joshua.
“You scared the shit out of me!” I yelled, he only laughed more. I waited until he finally calmed down and he finally spoke,
“You should h-have seen your f-face!” He laughed and mocked my reaction, I giggled at his cuteness and soon we were both on the ground laughing our asses off. I laughed so hard my sides hurt; I caught my breath and got up. I lent him a hand and he gladly took it with a smile, he covered his cheeks to hide his blush but I saw anyways. We were both leaning on each other for support still giggling.
Everything that happened with Gage started coming back to me and I sighed loudly. Joshua and I were now sitting against the rock, he was kind of close. Not that I mind. c;
“Are you okay, Noah?” He asked with concern, I just nodded. We sat there in a comfortable silence between us; all we did was watch the waves travel in and out.
Everyone seems to ask me that a lot, and the same answer has always been no. Even though I lie and tell them everything in my life is perfect and that I’m happy, it’s the exact opposite. I have problems, and don’t tell me that the first step to happiness is admitting you have issues. I don’t believe I will ever be happy and my problems can’t be fixed. I snapped back into reality when Josh poked my shoulder.
“Don’t lie to me, Noah. I know I haven’t known you long, but I know that you’re lying to me.” He stated sternly. I gave a dramatic sigh, and nodded.
“You’re right. Do you want a cookie or something?” I said in monotone, it came out a bit harsh for what I really intended. Hurt flashed through his eyes before he looked into his lap.
“Look I’m sorry. I’m just stressed out.” I muttered, he nodded and brought me into a hug. That’s when I cracked. Tears flowed down my cheeks and onto his hoodie; he only rubbed my back soothingly and whispered sweet things to me. Obviously trying to make me feel better, but it simply made things worse.
“No nothing will be alright! I have been hopeful for so long now, I dream of everything being perfect, but it never will.” I screamed, by now Joshua’s arms were by his sides seeming frightened at my sudden outburst. I buried my head in my hands and sobbed.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make things worse… I’ll jus-“ He was about to get up but I pulled him back down. “Don’t be sorry, you were just trying to help.” I whispered and looked up at him; he smiled and pulled me into his lap. I blushed and looked away; he chuckled and tightened his grip around my waist. I laid my head on his chest and inhaled his lovely smell, he smelled like coconut. Hehehe.
“So what are you doing tonight…?” I asked curiously, he sighed. “Well, my parents are taking me to Florida for a couple of weeks.” He stated. Joshua didn’t look very happy.
“You don’t want to go?”
“I do, but I don’t want to leave Ohio… and you.” He whispered the last part and I blushed while kissing his cheek. He giggled. I felt his phone vibrate from under me, he shifted and took it out. He sighed again before saying,
“My parents want me home now so we can finish packing, but I will text you.” I smiled and nodded. I stood up and helped him to; he hugged me tightly and whispered, “I’ll miss you.” I blushed and whispered the same thing back. He quickly pecked my lips and ran off; I placed my fingers to my lips and smiled. It felt amazing, but it didn’t feel like they belonged on mine. I brushed the thought away and made my way home. I felt my phone go off and I opened it,
From: Joshua.
To: Noah.
I miss you already. xoxo.
I giggled and replied,
From: Noah.
To: Joshua.
I know I miss you too, but you will have lots of fun.
xoxo. :3
He replied with a smiley face and I walked the rest of the way home, it suddenly got really cold and I pulled up my hood to my jacket. I made my way up the stairs and through the front door. I smiled at my father and he just grunted, oh well. I sat on the couch and watched Adventure Time. I remembered that Wynter was at his friend’s house and that I had no one to talk to. I sighed and left my phone on the couch and walked up stairs to my room, I flopped down on my bed and closed my eyes. I heard something smash down stairs and then some yelling,
“Get your faggot ass down here, Noah!” He screamed from down stairs that was the first time he talked directly to me in a long time. Did I mention my dad was a huge homophobe? Well he is. Every time he would see a gay couple happily walking along the sidewalk minding their own business he would scoff and yell disgusting at them. I had no respect for my father whatsoever, but as long as Wynter and I were fed and had a roof over our heads I will have to suck it up. But it doesn’t seem like I will be living here much longer if he knows that I’m gay. I walked down the stairs to find him standing near the couch with my phone in his hand!? Fuck.
“Get out of my house you, faggot!” He sneered as he threw the phone at me, he must have seen the text messages.
“I d-don’t know what you’re talking a-about…” I tend to stutter when I’m nervous or lying. He scoffed and pointed to the door.
“Like I didn’t read your little text messages, I know all about you’re little Joshua! Now get out before I make you bleed!” He yelled again. Never would I have thought my father would kick me out. At least I had my phone, but I had no clothes and my jacket was still inside.
“It’s fucking freezing out here.” I mumbled as I rubbed my arms and curled up on the front porch trying to keep any heat in my body from escaping.
I’m going to die.
