Case of The Confounding Jester (Editing)

Chapter 11

It rained heavily today. The yard was filled with puddles. Leaning against the wall, I spied my reflection in one of the puddles. My hair was overgrown and shaggy. My clean-shaven jaw now sported an uneven beard. My mustache was bushy. At first glance, I did not recognize myself and assumed that the reflection was of someone else. Realizing that no one else was around me, I looked again at myself in surprise and disappointment.

'Peter, depression is the worst thing that anyone can themselves into. Always be positive. Always be dressed in tip-top condition,' rang my mother's words. 

I shook myself and decided that thinking about the jester was pointless at this point. I decided to have faith in Jaz and leave it to her. If she finds anything that would exonerate me, I would be grateful. If she doesn't find anything then I'll try to accept my fate. In the meantime, I'll live my life to the fullest to the best of my ability.

I began exercising, meditating and playing crosswords during the time I had to stay behind bars. For the few short hours that all inmates were allowed in the yard, I began coaching soccer to the troubled teens in jail hoping to keep them away from trouble.

Days passed and I grew content. Jaz slipped out of mind except for the once in a blue moon, unattainable wish of asking Jaz to a date. It thus came as a pleasant surprise when the prison guard informed me that I had a visitor.

A young girl, who looked to be a junkie was pacing the room in agitation. She had dirty, blonde hair and wore tattered clothes. Initially, I dismissed her assuming that she was here for someone else. However, she came up to my table and stood with her fists on her hips. 

On closer look, I realized that it was Jaz dressed like a junkie. Her costume was so good that I would have recognized Jaz only if I  knew her well. Scratch that. If she didn't want me to recognize her, I wouldn't have been able to recognize her regardless of how well I knew her.

"You bloody idiot. You had a video camera and you never asked the officers to check it. I just read your journal," she screeched in a low tone. 

Confused as to where she was going, I furrowed my eyebrows and replied with a self-deprecating laugh, "Um, yes I was recording myself to try to convince myself that I wasn't the jester. But, I guess it was pointless because I was caught being the jester. So, I must be the jester." 

She huffed and glared at me. Then did a double take. "What have you been doing? You look good. Are you sneaking out of prison?," she asked reluctantly, involuntarily acknowledging that I was looking fit and healthy. 

Grinning I responded, "I've been trying to be good while you help me." 

She glared at me and muttered, "Weirdo. Isn't even worried for himself. Whatever." 

She turned around and left. I was left wondering why she came and why she left.

Another week passed. 

I stared in shock at the prison guard unable to believe my ears. 

"You are being released Peter," repeated the guard. 

"Move it, Peter. I know you have the warden wrapped around your finger for coaching the young ones. But, I don't care. Move it. I have other stuff to do," growled the guard grumpily. 

After being processed, I walked out of the prison. 

I'm glad to be free but I am also confounded as to how. Since I am the jester, I'm terrified that I will commit a crime or harm someone. Sure, I had no blackouts in prison. However, this does not relieve me in any way. Taking into consideration that I didn't know when and why the blackouts occurred, I am terrified of myself, my control and for others around me.