Of Muggles and Magic - A Harry Potter Fanfic [HIATUS]

Chapter 11 - Secrets and Suspicions

Jina pov:

I shifted my spoon listlessly in the bowl of ice cream placed in front of me. I had barely eaten a few bites all through dinner during this get together in Prof. Slughorn's office and I barely listened to the conversations shared between him and the other students. He had asked me about my parents too, mainly about their job in the Muggle world, and I had given a brief description of their responsibilities in the finance sector before wrapping myself up in my thoughts once again.

I had been in quite a daze since I realized I liked Draco more than a week ago. I concentrated in class and on tasks at hand, more so because it kept my mind busy, and made sure I acted as I always had when with Harry, Ron and Hermione but when I was by myself or in boring discussions like what was happening now, I stayed silent and restless. It's not that I was afraid to accept the feelings I had unexpectedly grown for Draco – in fact, I had accepted reality without hesitance as I always did. But I was stuck between doing what was right and doing what I wanted to do.

If Draco was a Death Eater like Harry suspected, that would make him the bad guy, the enemy. He would be a supporter of Voldemort and it was obvious that I shouldn't have feelings for him. But, quite unfortunately, feelings and emotions weren't always under our control so I couldn't bring myself to even think of hating him if he did turn out to be a Death Eater.

I sighed and closed my eyes while bringing a hand to my throbbing forehead. Harry, who was sitting next to me, noticed my gesture and leaned a bit closer so he could whisper.

"Jina? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a slight headache," I answered with a reassuring smile and inhaled deeply to concentrate on what Prof. Slughorn was saying for the rest of the gathering.

It was late in the evening by the time our get together ended and we all left Prof. Slughorn's office to retire for the night. Harry had stayed behind though, probably to get closer to the professor as Dumbledore wanted him to, and I excused myself from the other Gryffindor members to take a walk by myself. I headed to an empty classroom and made myself comfortable in the shadows at the very back. I would have gone to the Astronomy Tower but I wasn't in the mood to stand in the cold breeze of the night. I pressed a tiny button on my ear piece to turn it on so I could talk to Ajusshi – I turned it off every now and then, especially during discussions of dangers, so that Ajusshi wouldn't unnecessarily worry.

"Ajusshi, are you there?" I spoke softly while looking up at the barren ceiling.

"Oh, Jin Ha, I'm here. What's up? It's rare for you to start a conversation at this time of the night – aren't you with your friends?" he responded almost immediately.

"No, I wanted to talk to you about something important so I came out for a walk after the get together."

"Something important to discuss? What is it?" he coaxed and I took a deep breath.

"I think...I'm in a bit of a bind at the moment. I just realized some things and with the circumstances as they are, I'm not sure what I should be doing," I said slowly.

"What do you mean? Did they find out that you've been keeping in contact with me?"

"No....if that was the case, I wouldn't really worry about it. The worst that could happen was getting kicked out of Hogwarts," I said with a soft laugh.

"Then what is it?" he pressed, now sounding a little worried.

"It's about...Draco," I said. "I...I like him, Ajusshi. I realized that the unsettled feelings I've been having lately when I see him or think of him is because I have to come to like him...as boyfriend material."