Felony Jones

Two Birds--One Stone

Felony had just swallowed her morning handful of pills when she heard Jeff scratching at her bedroom door. She quickly put her hair up in a pony tail and opened the door, following Jeff into the kitchen. He was hungry and had no patience for delay. He danced around in circles as she filled his food bowl. She had barely put it on the floor when he moved in on it, gobbling it down. "Chew it, baby boy." She grabbed a roll, walked over to the dining room table, sat down and picked at it while she watched Jeff eat. She had a little time to relax before getting ready then it was off to her appointment with Elizabeth. Hopefully she would have a little time to spend at the beach before picking up Nicholas. After a few more minutes of food-picking, she headed out across the backyard to her office. She wrote some things on the whiteboard, then stopped, backed up, and stared at it until Jeff came in and lay down on a small pillow she had on the floor. She looked at him, "are you feeling a little depressed today, too?"

Felony had driven all the way to Elizabeth's office and was just about to pull into the parking lot when she realized how calm she was. There was no anxiety, no racing thoughts and no well-rehearsed responses to questions Elizabeth would likely ask her. She hadn't been obsessively going over everything in her head on the drive over, and it was a strange feeling, being oddly calm. Small doses of serenity weren't easy for her to accept, it happened so infrequently, and she usually ruined the feeling of calm, by obsessing about how calm she felt. She also noticed that she had snapped out of the melancholy cloud that hung over her. Focusing on Nicholas' welfare must have done the trick. Having given herself some extra time, she sat down across from the fish tank in the waiting room. There seemed to be more Angel fish in it this time. She loved those more than any of the other fish and decided she would have to check out the cost of getting a tank for her house. A bigger tank than this one, she wanted to fill that thing with color. After some time, Elizabeth came out and greeted her. She seemed more subdued than usual. There was no overly aggressive smile and no unnecessary perkiness. It was a nice change. She followed Elizabeth into the office, and shut the door. Felony sat down and crossed her legs, feeling very relaxed and ready to talk.

"Well, how have you been?" Elizabeth asked.

"Good, thanks, and you?"

"Fine, thanks."

Felony noticed Elizabeth had added several plants and pictures to the office. She had also put some splashes of paint on one of the walls. She wondered if Elizabeth was going through something personal, or had finally decided to spread her wings and loosen up a bit. Whatever was going on, it was a good start.

"So, I was thinking we could pick up where we left off last time, digging deeper into your relationship with your mother. We've covered some of your background and scratched the surface with your mother, but today I want to explore the dynamic between the two of you—I want to focus on that. I'd like to do an exercise. I want to examine specific situations or actions or things said, and the responses by the both of you, good and bad. Is that okay?"

"Of course." Felony said. She actually felt ready for this.

"I just want you to say whatever comes to mind. It gives me a better understanding of the relationship and how it still affects you, then we can work on the most intense areas."

"Got it."

"Tell me something your mother did or said, that made you feel angry or hurt or ashamed—something specific."

"It wasn't so much each individual thing, but the totality of things that got to me. There never seemed to be a break from the indignity. It was day in and day out. I don't think she meant to hurt the people around her, I think she was just indifferent to it."