The Deadline

~Chapter 17~

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you" she cries in my head and I push back my wolf who is shouting at me to go find her.

It hurts. She loves me, but she doesn't like loving me. And it fucking hurts. She feels the need to cut herself to feel good. As much as I want to wrap her in my arms and stop her crying, I can't see her face without thinking about what she did.

I thought she was past it. I thought she was okay now. I thought she didn't want to die anymore. That she liked the life I showed her. But she doesn't.

Why did she let me mark her then?

"Caleb open the door! You need to go find her! She might get hurt! At least let us go find her! She's a new wolf, alone in the woods! It's dangerous!" Faye screams in my head while banging the door to my house.

She is right. I know I'm putting her in danger, and it kills me. But I can't see her. She has Cia. If she really wants to come back, she'll find a way.

~~~

The sun is up again. I get up, sore from sleeping against a tree, and start walking. I haven't shifted back to human form yet. I feel safer like a wolf. Even though I don't know how to fight, it's better being a huge wolf than a tiny girl, lost in the woods.

I have to go back to the pack. Make it right with Caleb. He is not the problem. He thinks I don't like the life he's giving me but that's not true. I have to talk to him, and not through mindlink.

I take a deep breath and start running again. I know I'm in our territory. I just have to find the pack house. I've been running for hours, and when I finally find a familiar clearing, my feet are bleeding and my body aches.

The pack is close. I can smell Caleb again. I follow the scent frantically and finally see the pack house. People are gathering around, watching me. I shift back to human form and limb my way through the crowd, not caring about my nakedness. I have to find him.

All the whispers and stares are cut out by Faye, who runs to me and wraps me in a blanket.

"Where is he?" I ask and she looks back at the door of the pack house.

I follow her gaze and my eyes finally lock with his. He's angry, but hurt. I take another step towards him, but my body betrays me. I almost fall down, but quickly regain my balance and push through the pain. I can't let them know I'm weak. I'm their Luna. I have to be strong for them. I walk up to Caleb never tearing my eyes off of his.

He looks around and growls to some males that look at me too much.

"Get inside" he says under his breath, trying to hold his anger at bay.

"Don't you have work to do?" he shouts at the crowd and everyone hurries to find something else to do.

He waits for me to walk in the pack house but I turn around and walk to our house. We need privacy.

I hear him walking behind me. When we're finally in the house I limb my way to the stairs and try and reach my closet. I need to wear some clothes before we talk. I struggle to walk up the stairs without wincing from pain.

Caleb sighs and lifts me up bridal style. He walks me up to our bedroom and puts me on the bed. After he brings me underwear and one of his T-shirts, I sit on the bed and watch him pace around the room.

"Caleb" I say softly and he snaps at the sound of my voice. He looks at me and continues pacing.

"I left you alone in the woods" his eyes are gold. "But it hurts Emma" his eyes are green. "You're hurt because of me" his eyes gold again. "I can't believe you're feeling that way about me" his eyes green.

My heart aches from the sight of him fighting with himself like that. It's my fault he is in this situation.

"Caleb stop!" I say and walk up to him. "It's my fault. I don't hate the life I have with you. I really don't and I'm sorry I made you feel like I do"

"Then why did you cut yourself Emma?" he says half angry half sad.

"Being a werewolf, being a Luna, being your mate. It's stressing me out. And I-... I don't know how to deal with it. Cutting worked before, but now it doesn't, so it's too much for me to handle" I say tearing up. "I don't have any other way to loosen up" I whisper and look at my feet.

I feel embarrassed that I cut myself to "loosen up". People go out to dance, drink, they paint, they read dirty books, they take up jogging to lossen up but no, I had to be so damaged and broken that I cut myself. It's pathetic. I'm pathetic.

"You're not pathetic. Don't call yourself pathetic" he says pulling me into a hug.

"You can hear my thoughts?" I asked surprised and terrified at the same time.

"Not exactly. I can feel how you feel. And you're feeling pathetic and damaged but I can guarantee you're not pathetic nor damaged. You're perfect. And you're going to be a great Luna. You're already proving it! You are hurt yet you refused to let the pack see you weak" he says staring into my eyes. A feeling of affection warms my heart, and I know it's how he feels. He believes every single word of what he just said. And that makes me so content and confident about myself.

"Thank you Caleb" I peck his lips and he smiles sadly.

"The next time you need to loosen up please come and tell me. Even if you need to loosen up because of me. Just tell me and I'll help you. Just please babygirl don't hurt yourself again. It's the only thing I can't handle. I can't see you hurt. So please, promise me you'll come to me the next time you feel like hurting yourself"

"I promise"