Tonight's not over

Chapter 25

I could feel my nerves rising as I sat backstage with Chris listening to his support act. Partly because I knew in a little while I was going to be stood up on that stage, playing for the crowd, but also because every minute that passed was a minute closer to me coming face to face with Taylor. I was surprised by how worried I felt about seeing him again. I thought that now I was with Chris I wouldn't care, that it would be easy but right now it felt anything but.
The support act were just finishing and I knew Chris was about to get up on stage himself. He leaned over and gave me a quick kiss before standing up and grabbing his guitar.
"My turn now." he grinned.
Just then we heard the door open and as we turned we saw Rami, Christine and Dave walking in, chatting, while Taylor, his hands shoved in his pockets, his head bowed walked behind them. He looked about as uncomfortable as I felt. Chris looked at me a worried expression on his face. He reached down and took my hand as we heard his name announced and the crowd erupt with noise.
"I really have to go" he told me apologetically.
"I'll be fine" I told him but he didn't look convinced. "GO!"
I exclaimed pulling my hand from his and waving for him to leave. He gave a small smile and was on his way. I watched him give a nod towards Dave and the others before disappearing into the passageway that led to the stage. His words to the audience faltered a little and the start of his first song was unusually hesitant. I was relieved when he finally seemed to find his stride and the gig was well and truly underway. Now I just had to concentrate and listen for my cue to join him.

Christine waved to me, said something to Rami and then headed in my direction while he, Dave and Taylor followed Chris into the passageway. I knew they could see the show from there without being seen by the crowd. I sighed, thinking this was it, soon I'd have to have the conversation I was dreading. I tried to smile as I greeted my friend.
"Mia!" she said
And she threw her arms around me and I hugged her back. Then we sat down on the sofa.
"How's it going?" she asked a grin on her face and a cheeky glint in her eyes.
I knew she was referring to things with Chris and this time my smile was genuine.
"Great! Fantastic in fact!" I answered
I couldn't hide my excitement as I thought about all the things Chris and I had done together in just a couple of days. I really did love being with him and I couldn't hide my joy even if I'd wanted to. Christine gave a small squeal as she hugged me again.
"I'm so happy for you. Both of you! Chris is an amazing man."
"I know." I grinned.
"So how do you feel about...." her words trailed off as she glanced over in the direction the others had gone. "you know....."
"I'm pretty nervous if I'm honest." I said and swallowed hard.
"If it's any consolation I think Taylor is too."
"Doesn't really help..." I said with a nervous laugh.
"Sorry." she said.
"I guess I'm just.."
"What?"
"I'm just.....scared that I might still have feelings for him. Does that sound stupid?"
"No! Feelings like you had for him don't just vanish over night, no matter how badly he treated you."
"Maybe...." I said not totally convinced.
"OK look at it this way, compare your feelings for being here with Chris to how you felt when you were with Taylor....."
"They don't compare...."
"Why not?"
"Well, Taylor never really cared about me as a person. I was always a secret. We never even went on a proper date, for God's sake. Chris just likes being with me, he actually likes me as a person....."
My words trailed off as I noticed Christine was just sat smiling at me.
"Exactly!" she said smugly and winked. "And that's all you've got to remember when Taylor talks to you."
"How did you get so wise?" I asked jokingly and laughed a bit
"It's just a skill I have." she shrugged. "OK look, I should get back to Rami. But I can't wait to see you on stage."
"Yeah I'm quite nervous about that too."
"You'll be fine. You've done it once already."
"Thanks."
She reached out and gave my arm a squeeze.
"And good luck with Taylor." I gave a small smile and she turned and walked away.

For a few minutes I kept glancing over to the passageway expecting Taylor to appear but he seemed in no hurry to come over to me. Maybe he'd changed his mind and I wouldn't have to do this after all. Then again maybe I just needed to get it over with. I was still deep in thought when I heard Chris call my name from the stage. I glanced up a bit shocked and heard the crowd clapping and cheering
"Well get your ass up here then." I heard him shout.
For a moment I sat rooted to the spot before I finally came to my senses and jumped down from the stool. I took a deep breath and hurried towards the stage, pushing past Dave and the others. By now Chris had picked up my guitar from it's stand and was holding it out to me as I walked towards him. As I took it he leaned over and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.
"You OK?" He whispered
"I'm fine" I told him trying to smile
"You'll be great." With that he stepped back to the mic "OK who's ready for some more music?" he called to the crowd.
They all cheered and with that Chris played the first notes of the next song. I took a deep breath and joined in. I soon relaxed as I sang and played next to him sharing the mic. I loved being so close that I could feel his breath when we sang together. The few songs we played were over far too quickly, I had a blast singing with him.
"Give it up for Mia, wasn't she great?" Chris said and the crowd cheered.
I gave a smile and a wave to the audience as I left the stage for Chris to sing his final songs alone. I walked quickly past Dave and the others. I heard words like "Well done!!" And "That was awesome Mia" as I passed and felt Dave give me an encouraging pat on the shoulder as I went.

I rushed over to the corner of the backstage area and put my guitar on a stand, I needed a moment to get myself together. But when I turned, I noticed Taylor making his way across to me. My mouth went dry and my heart raced, I wasn't looking forward to this.
"Uhm... you were great up there....." Taylor said, hands in his pockets, not looking up and sounded defeated.
"Really...?" I asked stunned. "You came over to make small talk about my performance?"
"Well....no....but....I just wanted to say..."
"You wanted to say what....?"
For a moment he looked at me like he was waiting for me to say something else but I had no intention of making this easy for him. I could feel the anger inside me as I stared at him waiting for him to carry on. He dropped his head unable to look me in the eye.
"Look Mia I want to apologise" he raised his head to meet my gaze once more. "I shouldn't have treated you like that..."
"No you shouldn't.." I snapped.
"Yeah well.... what do I need to do to put things right?"
"You think you can just apologise and we can pick up where we left off?"
"No! That's not what I meant..."
"Isn't it?"
"No! Look I know I fucking blew it with you, that I was a fucking dickhead alright! And I know you're with Chris now and...."
"How do you know that?" I demanded shocked.
"Dave..." Taylor said and made a hand gesture towards the passage where Dave was standing.
"Oh right...." I muttered.
I hadn't even considered the possibility that Dave would tell Taylor about us.
"Mia I was a fucking dick and I'm sorry. I should never have treated you the way I did. I have no excuse, I ......well, I was just a dick."
I stood and stared at him. I had no idea what to say. I believed he meant what he said and as we stood there it struck me that the feelings I once had for him were gone and all that was left was hurt and anger. It wasn't going to be easy to forgive him but in time I thought I could because I had something much better in my life now. For a moment we stood quietly.
"Well that's all I wanted to say" Taylor mumbled, obviously feeling like he needed to fill the silence somehow "I really am sorry."
"OK" I replied. "But you have to give me time to forgive you."
"Of course, whatever you need. I promise not to bother you....or Chris....promise!"
He looked like h really meant what he was saying.
"Thanks..." I said
Then it was quiet again.
"Look Mia... I'm happy for you...Both you and Chris." he paused for a moment before continuing "You ended up with the better man."
I was stunned by his comment. I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. Suddenly I heard a huge noise from the crowd as Chris finished up. The fans cheered and shouted but as I listened I could hear he wasn't paying them the usual attention. Soon Chris came backstage. He was greeted by Dave and Rami with hugs and words about how awesome the show was. Chris thanked them but he was really focusing to come to me and Taylor as soon as possible. Soon he was striding over to where Taylor and I were stood. He took my hand, Taylor followed his movements with his gaze.
"Everything OK?" he asked
"Yes fine" I told him putting a reassuring hand on his arm.
"Great gig man." Taylor said sheepishly.
"Yeah whatever...." Chris waved it off "What do you want Taylor?"
"I just came to say sorry to Mia..."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah! But I've done that now so I should go...."
"I think you should."
"Chris...." I started but was interrupted by Taylor
"Look man, I know I was a dick. I would have fucking punched me too OK?!"
I watched the expression on Chris' face soften slightly, then he looked at me and I nodded.
"Yeah OK" Chris finally said
Taylor stood for a second more , then gave us a nod before he turned to walk over to the others.
"Taylor..." I called and he looked over his shoulder "thanks for the apology." I continued.
He gave a nod and was gone.