Starting Over

A New Life

"Do you doubt?" He asked, showing concern.

"I do...we have only known each other a short amount of time." She tried to reassure him but deep down they both knew she was right.

"Fine, but I'm not letting you get away with this." He smiled and kissed her again, moving into the living room and laying her down backwards on the long sofa couch, careful to set her down gently. She ran her fingers through his gray streaked brown hair as his hands explored her waist.

"I do love you." She whispered through the intense kisses.

"Then marry me, Carina." He dove back in kissing her neck as he pulled her pants down. She thought for a moment, trying to take her mind away from his mouth that was making its way down her body.

"Fine. Yes, I will marry you." She shook her head up and down with a  smile on her face. He stopped in his tracks and moved to look her in the eyes. The look on his face told her she made the right decision. "I'll marry you, honey. I love you." This time she placed her hand in his cheek and kissed him deeply, tears running down her face. She pushed him off the couch and made love to him on the floor through all hours of the night.

The next morning...

Carin woke up to the sun shining brightly through the living room windows. Beside her, Johnn slept with a couch pillow under his head and an Afghan trucked around his body. Slowly, all the memories they had made the night before came back to her as she looked down to see her body wrapped in a blanket that used to he on the back of the brown couch. Johnn stirred beside her. His eyes cracked open and for a second she thought of running to the bathroom to change into some clothes, but they were to be married. And by the amount of each other they and seen the night before, it didn't matter anyway.

His eyes cracked open and he smiled at the sight of her. She had propped herself up on her elbow with her head resting on her hand. He loved the white streaks that shown brightly through her hair.

"Guten morning." He smiled at her, sleep still in his voice.

"Morning." Was all she replied.

"Well, how was last night?" He asked.

"Amazing." She exclaimed, thinking of the pleasure she had felt for the first time in a long time. Her ex had never been able to help her achieve that level of pleasure before. Johnn began to sense that as her rolled into of her, straddling her abdomen.

"I love you." He leaned in and kissed her.

"I love you too. So much." For the first time she felt a love for him that felt new and different from anything she had ever felt before. A tingling feeling like she was so excited she could barely stand it.

"Breakfast?" He asked.

"Coffee." She replied. He smiled.

"Okay, go get dressed." He motioned toward the bedroom. For a second she thought of grabbing the blanket that was surrounding her, but instead she stood, letting the sheets fall to her feet. He watched in awe of how gorgeous she really was. Perfect, really.

2 Months Later...

"I like this one better than the last." She told the attendant.

"Both look really nice on you." The woman replied, obviously trying to make a sale. Carin looked at herself, the long white dress flowed with the curves on her body in the perfect way. She wanted something simple, unlike her first marriages dress which was extravagant. This time she chose a simple white maxi dress that clung tightly to her chest but flowed freely after that. It was the dress.

"This one, please." She told the woman who was obviously upset that she chose the cheaper of the two dresses and walked out of the room. She dressed and checked out, taking her wedding dress outside in a paper bag. Johnn stood when he saw her. He was sitting across the courtyard on a fountain ledge.

"Hello, beautiful." He squinted against the sun making ever wrinkle on his face become noticeable. Still, he was very handsome, she thought.

"Not bad looking yourself. Get a tux?" She asked.

"Yes, and you a dress?" He held up his bag in reply to her question.

"Yep, picked out a nice one. Simple yet not too young for this old girl." She smiled and kissed him quickly on the cheek.

"Old...youre not old." He pushed her black hair out of her face. She loved his compliments that actually made her feel younger. Just being with him made her feel younger than she actually was.

"Want to grab lunch?" She pointed toward a diner across the courtyard of the mall.

"Sure." He said and headed in that direction. He held the door for her and were both seated shortly after.

"I will have the spaghetti and meatballs with French fries and a milk shake." She said.

"I will have the fish sandwich." They handed the waitress their menus.

"Sure is a lot of food, isn't it dear?" Johnn asked inquisitivly. She have him a funny look and then put her hand to her chest with her chin down.

"No, I was really hungry but how I feel a little sick." She swallowed hard.

"How so?" She didn't get to answer before she stood and ran to the bathroom at the back of the retro diner. Johnn stood up and followed her as the waitress set their food down.

He opened the women's bathroom door to see his fiancee resting her head on her hand against the toilet seat.

"You Ok, hon?" She looked over at him.

"Yeah, but I'm not hungry anymore." He chuckled as she gagged again, sending another hurl of vomit into the toilet. He walked over and pulled her hair back out of her face and rested his hand on her back and sitting beside the toilet on the floor. He signed and looked at the ground. She rested her head on her hand again, breathing heavy.

"Have you gone through menopause?" He asked acting like he didn't want the answer.

"I am now." She replied.

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't had a monthly in two months but they've been off and on for a while." She said, reassuring him.

"It's been two and a half months since we had Sex, Carin." Her face showed fear as she considered the time frame.

"Should this be a concern?" She asked.

"Well, we might as well find out." He pushed his lips together and signed again. Deep down both knew what the outcome of the test would be. Neither smiled the whole way home or their shopping trip through the drug store. Confused looks were passed from customers and store members as the two checked out and left with a pregnancy test in hand.

When they arrived home, Carin grabbed the bag out of Johnns hand and headed for the bathroom.

She emerged no more than a minute later with the test in her hand.

"Five minutes is what the box says." He held the box up.

"Well, might as well get comfy." She followed what he was saying and went into the living room. They flicked on the TV but could not keep their eyes off the clock. Five long minutes passed before they exchanged a worried and uncertain glance.

"Go ahead." She shook her head and picked up the stick which was upside down on the coffee table. She closed her eyes and flipped the test over.