"How does it make you feel that you know he is lying to you?" my shrink asks. I look at her in disbelief and clench my fist.
"It makes me angry. How else would it make me feel? I love him yet he's lying to me. Lying to me about the drugs, the cheating, the girls, the guys."
"Good, good. We're getting somewhere."
"He said he'd never hurt me. I thought he was supposed to save me from myself. Now look at what all I have left!"
"Oh dear." The young woman starts writing and nodding to herself. I look at my watch and stand up.
"Our times up. I'll show myself out." I grab my coat and walk out of the psychologists office. Kingsley, my current boyfriend, is waiting by the curb. I open the door and slide into the passenger seat.
"Hey baby. How was your appointment?"
"Disappointing." I turn up the car stereo so I couldn't hear him anymore. I cringe at the music playing but I'd rather listen to Taylor Swift than Kingsley Morningstar. The car stops in front of our house and I get out of the car. I run to our bathroom and close the door. Under the sink I pull out the black hair dye I bought yesterday. I take my grey shirt off so I won't stain it. I mix the dye together then look at my rusty brown hair. It's been awhile since I've dyed my hair dark. Never have I went black though. I apply it to my roots first then to my ends. Once I have it all worked into my hair I set a timer on my phone for twenty minutes. I put a shower cap on my hair and get into the bath I prepared. I lift my bubbly leg up and examine the foot long scar on my thigh. I touch it softly and squirm.
The scar is from one of my mothers' many boyfriends. He kidnapped me and while being held hostage he cut me as the police negotiated with him about letting me go.
The alarm goes off on the phone and I get into the shower. I wash out the extra color and wash my hair with lavender color safe shampoo. I wash my body and wrap it in a fluffy white towel. I go to the bedroom and dress. Once I'm dressed I get my keys and head towards the door.
"Hey! Where are you running off to? What did you do to your hair Eleanor?"
"I dyed it. Felt like I needed a change. I'll be home in a few hours." I get in my car and drive to a tattoo parlor.
"What can I do for ya, sweetness?" a man with sleeves and eyebrow piercings asks.
"I want a tattoo on my side. I want a tree. One half of the tree is going to be living the other half is going to be dead and rotting."
"Okay. Take a seat and I will draw it for you. What's your name?"
"Eleanor."
"I'm Jack." Minutes pass by and I tap my foot on the ground. My phone rings so I turn it off. "Eleanor. I'm ready for you," Jack says. I follow him to a closed off room. He lays the drawing on the chair.
"It's fantastic," I tell him. I take my The Used shirt off and lay down. Jack cleans my side and presses the picture on me. I hear him turn his needle on and take a deep breath.
"Are you ready?" I nod and he starts tattooing my skin. "What's the story behind this particular piece?"
"Well it resembles my life. The dead half resembles my past. I've been in a relationship with this guy for two years now and I've felt like I'm dead. So now I want to live my life. Hence the living side of the tree."
