Thanks to You (Jalex)

I won't ever be the one you want, no I won't ever be the one you want

"Are you alive?"

I swallowed hard, fighting to sit upright. I closed my burning eyes, attempting to get myself together while my insides twisted unpleasantly. It almost felt like Osmosis Jones and his stupid friend were running around inside of me, crashing and tearing everything up.

"Yeah, you're going to puke aren't you?"

I grimaced, barely bending over before bile was burning up my throat. I gagged harshly, watching brown and clear liquid splatter into the bucket held in front of me I clutched my stomach. Panting, I dry-heaved a good couple of times before the vomit turned into long globs of spit. I moaned, grabbing my throbbing head as water slipped from the corners of my eyes. I grumbled, wiping my cheeks before using the collar of my shirt to wipe my mouth off. The bitter smell of whiskey hit me and I doubled over, dry-heaving hard. I whimpered as my stomach clenched painfully, grabbing the back of my shirt and pulling it roughly over my head.

"Fuck." I whined, chills running down my spine once I was free from the strong odor.

I tossed the shirt to the ground and pushed the bucket away from me, my blurry vision coming into focus on very clean carpet. I winced, laying down on my back slowly and cautiously. I closed my eyes, avoiding any eye contact while my entire body ached.

"Do you want me to get you some more water?" Jack asked softly, making the bed squeak when he sat next to my side.

I shook my head, swallowing thickly when I felt his hand brush through my sweaty hair. Butterflies flopped around my stomach and my mind flooded while my heart skipped around my chest.

"Go back to sleep." He whispered, continuing to play with my hair.

"Lay w'me?" I croaked, rolling on to my side lazily.

"I will." He agreed quietly.

I hummed, feeling my eyes grow heavier by the second. When I was close to drifting off, pressure was pressed up against my chest and I felt my arm getting pulled over something warm. I moaned, digging my face into the softness in front of me and breathing in a comforting smell. Definitely better than the smell of whiskey.

"Sleep, Alex." Jack reminded, running his hand along my forearm.

"Mm." I mumbled, blocking all the shitty feelings out as I relaxed.

I breathed in deeply, feeling good with Jack in my arms despite the buzzing in my head and aching in my body. Lazily shoving my right arm under his head, I pulled him into me tighter and let myself relax enough to block the pain out for a little bit longer.
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I winced, groaning quietly as I felt different parts of my body hurt all at once when an orange glow made itself known against my eyelids. The pins and needles filling my head have never been this bad before and that's saying something. The feeling of another body pressed against mine has never felt so comforting and scary at the same time, but that's probably because I know it's Jack laying in my arms. I know I came to his house last night. I know I wanted to see him and talk to him. I know I miss him. I just don't know know what I said or what I might've pulled on him, but it couldn't have been too bad if he's in his bed with me right now.

I swallowed thickly, feeling my stomach churn when he slowly pulled away from me. I opened my mouth, grimacing at the dryness as I tried to lick my lips. He sat up, causing me to look down as my arm fell limp against the warm spot of the mattress he was just laying on while he slowly twisted around to sit by my side. The dread washing over me felt just as bad as the internal pain from my drinking and all I want to do in this moment is crawl back to my apartment.