That day, he changed my life (Markiplier x Reader)

What am I to you?

Monday, 12th August 2012

It's been  two weeks since Mark and I shared an intimate and passionate moment together and ever since then I don't think anything has been the same. He's different and so am I. I mean I haven't known him long enough to know what he's really like but this is definitely different from the Mark i met... He's distant. We used to talk everyday after work, then only 3 days a week with short and less interesting topics to only once a week last week. Whenever we see each other during work he just looks away. All he does is give me orders and sometimes tell me I'm doing a good job but, I'm not seeing that goofy adorable smile as often.  I'm trying my best to not let what happened effect me but something about him is keeping me hooked on to that night, his scent, the taste of his lips and my body against his. It was only a passionate moment, for all i know it couldn't have meant anything but I can't help but feel like we're not as close anymore or maybe he was just trying to get close to me to use me but... that doesn't make any sense, he would have slept with me when he had the chance if he wanted to use me besides, it just doesn't seem like something he'd do to someone, he's too sweet or so I think, again I don't really know him well enough to judge.  He's trying to keep a distance clearly. Did he not like the way I kiss or something? We haven't even spoken about it ever so I can't really know how he feels and the suspension, the theories and the constant worrying is killing me. I want to confront him but I don't want to ruin the little bit of friendship we have left.

In the meantime Daisy and I are doing fine trying to adjust to the big city. We've been to a few nice places like parks and stores and just enjoyed the adventure of moving somewhere new. It felt like a great escape to a different world and in a way it's relaxing. I'm trying to send applications to other Video game art studios hopefully one of them would accept me. I'm not giving up... I didn't come all this way for nothing. For now Little Tokyo will have to do. We're lucky we live in a nice area or else I would have already gone crazy. So far I'm carefree and I haven't felt this way in a while. It's really what I needed. Daisy feels the same way too. We've been through so much together it's safe to say we really do deserve this. Our apartment is fully furnished and each day it feels more and more like home with my room being my safe space. It looks like mine now. All my band posters are up, Figurines, banners, bed sheets. My Youtube channel has grown quite a bit since I've found time to upload 5 times a week and work hasn't been as busy as the first week I was there, I guess I'm just getting used to it. Everything is finally in order. Except for the situation with Mark. I can't get it out of my head. It's supposed to be a calm brand new start and so far I've been rejected from one company and I made out with my totally adorable manager and I can't stop thinking about him. Whenever he walks past my heart starts racing and I get really nervous but we barely even talk. It's really getting annoying. Sometimes I can't get a lot of sleep. I don't know what it is about him but he's got me wrapped around his fingers. Even Daisy and the other employees notice my head is in the clouds most of the times. Today though, Today the way I feel changed.

Today I got home from work totally broken. It was the middle of the day and I noticed Mark staring at me while I was serving a table of customers. I looked back at him for a bit but I noticed I was distracted when my customers were trying to get my attention. I worked a bit clumsily I do admit, I just couldn't stop thinking about him. During the whole day Mark was shooting me displeased looks and it just confused me. What did I do? I was all of a sudden feeling watched, like every move i make I'm somehow doing something wrong. At the end of my shift as we were about to close down for the afternoon I was getting ready to leave but Mark grabbed my arm firmly. I turned back to him. Maybe he was finally ready to talk to me about it?

My smile deflated when I noticed the displeased look on his face. This was so unlike him. I couldn't help but ask,

"Mark? What's wrong? Did I do something?"

He let go of my arm. Obviously something was up and I didn't like this one bit, I felt so nauseous suddenly.

"(Y/N) I'm warning you if you keep your head in the clouds and continue messing up like you are I'm going to have to let you go. You're doing a horrible job around here! Messing up orders, Ignoring customers... I've been getting complaints the past couple of days and I'm getting fed up, so are the people above me." He said in a more aggressive tone than usual.

He looked at me seriously and I couldn't help but start to tear up. The man I thought so much of is all of a sudden acting so cold. I get it, he's my manager but the Mark I met would have sat me down and told me calmly that I'm doing badly. What did I even do to him to make him act like this towards me? If there's one thing I know is, I didn't do anything to receive this kind of treatment from him. I tried to respond a bit tongue tied and let out,

"Okay I understand that I'm doing a bad job but that doesn't give you the right to snap at me-"

"What do you expect me to do? I can't be nice all the time, this is work and it's serious. I'm your manager not your friend." He cut me off quickly and I couldn't take hearing any of this. That really hurt. It hit me like a dagger. I held back tears as best as I could and shot him an angry look. His expression suddenly changed. He could tell that hurt me and I could tell he wanted to bite his tongue but it was too late. I was already wounded.

"Then what am I to you?! You know what. I'm leaving. I'm not taking any of this. I'm so sorry I was ever nice to you or thought you were better."

I shot the cloth I was holding down to the table next to me and stormed out of the store. I let out a few tears, I felt so hot and I'm pretty sure I was turning red. I didn't look back but i could notice people looking at me confusingly. I tried not to care and paced a bit faster. I stormed up the stairs and noticed Daisy wasn't back home from work so I slammed the door shut. I can't believe this was happening. We kissed. We had a moment. I couldn't stop thinking about him and he treats me this way?? Out of all people Mark. I thought he was so sweet and to think, I was starting to fall for him slowly. No wonder he was being distant. He doesn't feel anything for me at all. My head was nothing but a pool of emotions and I couldn't help but let out a few more tears.

I poured a drink and went to my desk to calm down by reading some comments on my videos. Sure there were a couple of mean ones here and there but the nice comments filled me with some sort of joy. I browse some videos and call my mom pretending I'm fine... I hate lying to her so much but I had to or else she'll say I told you so. She loves me but she didn't think I'd be happy here and that things would start going south quickly but I'm not going to let some guy stand in the way of my happiness.  2 hours pass slowly and suddenly my phone buzzes and I notice some messages from Mark. In anger I turn off my phone. I just want to forget him. He clearly doesn't think of me as a friend so why should I be one. From now on I'm going to treat him as just my manager and I his employee. I open my art box and start drawing to ease the stress.

I groan and say to myself sipping my second glass of wine "God I can't wait to be out of here".