Liliana Salvatore (The Salvation) "Wind Of Forever" // Wattys 2019

Real life; What Not To Say To A Grieiving Person.

"Hi, I'm The actress that plays Liliana Salvatore and you already know my name and I'm pretty sure you've all seen the new episode of Liliana Salvatore. Can you believe it?! Liliana killed Heather. So, Real Simple has invited me to tell you all 3 things to say and not to say to a Grieving Person let's get into it shall we?"

1. What Not to say: "How are you doing?"
"When you offer this well worn phrase the person is mostly hearing something different, something like 'Please tell me you're doing okay, because it's uncomfortable if you say your not doing well' When faced with this question people answer with 'Fine' or 'Okay' rather than really communicating their feelings.
What To Say Instead: "It's Really Tough Right Now For You"
"Acknowledge that what they're going through right now is painful. Don't gloss over their feelings let them have the chance to grieve fully and without judgement"

2. What Not To Say: "They're In A Better Place"
"During such a confusing and personal time it's better to be cautious then assume a belief system that the griever might not subscribe to this phrase can also seem to de-emphasize the pain he or she are feeling in the moment. Now, sometimes this phrase will work because some people feel comforting knowing or believing that their loss loved one is in a better place but however, the person is still gone and not with them and that's what's hard about the loss"

3. What Not To Say: "You Can Always....."
"If someone loses a partner or a child and you tell them that they always remarry or have another child it can sound like your suggesting a love one is replaced. This plays as the biggest fear: that they will forget that person and that'll not be important in their lives in the future especially if he or she has lost a parent which is my biggest fear in death"
What To Say Instead "Tell Me About Your Loved One"
"I personally think when dealing with the present pain of loss it' can be hard to look towards a future that's full of unknowns. Help focus on the memories that not only they had of the person but what you had of the person that they didn't get to have by asking specific questions and being an active listener"

"And That is three things to say and not say to a grieving person".

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