December // A Winter Soldier Story

34

ｊａｎｕａｒｙ ７ｔｈ， ２０１４

３２°

ℬ𝓊𝒸𝓀𝓎

Food for Lea. When he wakes up the next morning, this is what he is thinking about.

He drags himself off of the shitty cot he is laying on and sighs, rolling out his neck muscles as he prepares himself for another day of fabrication. Again, Bucky must pretend to be the mindless creature everyone thinks he is, even though his mind is filled to the brim with resurfacing memories that threaten to spill over and drown him at any second. He remembers who he is now to some extent, but he has to continue to feign a blank slate if he wishes to survive Hydra.

Is this worse than having no memories at all? He doesn't know. He can't decide anymore. It's all unnatural, it's all painful.

He pulls on his heavy boots and sets off. Across the compound he travels, from the far depths of Hydra's facility to the ground level, where low-threat prisoners are held. A hallway to the right of the stairwell leads him to the kitchen. He enters quietly, and makes his way to the trays that are set out for the captives.

Just before he reaches the counter, a man steps before him to grab one. Bucky recognizes the man as the doctor who was responsible for the fresh knife scars on Lea's arm. Rage burns inside of him, but he swallows the fire and remains blank, just as he has been taught.

"Good morning, soldier," the man greets mockingly, sneering in a condescending way. He ignorantly assumes the brainwashed soldier does not understand the venom behind his words. However, the soldier before him is not brainwashed like he is supposed to be - instead he is biting his tongue and fighting to keep his fists at his sides. All Bucky can see is the man pressing that silver blade into Lea's flesh - carving not just into her skin, but also into her innocence - and it takes everything inside of him to keep a neutral expression.

"I'd hate to see what kind of broken mess your mind is, that's for sure," he continues, turning away from the soldier for a moment to grab a tray. Once he has it in his grasp, he levels his gaze at the soldier. "Or heart, if you even have one."

Again, anger courses through Bucky's body. He has always struggled to control his rage, and after a lifetime of being used as a puppet in someone else's bloody ideological plans, he has almost completely lost his control of it. Inadvertently, his eyes flash.

This is a grave mistake. The man takes notice that his eyes are unusually alert; it's almost as if the soldier has full sensation of his surroundings. Like he is aware.

The man's eyes widen, but just before he can speak, Bucky lands a punch square in his jaw. The blow is hard enough to knock him out cold. The second the man hits the floor, Bucky knows that he now has no choice but to make today the day to escape.

Panic rises in his throat as he realizes what he has done. He turns on his heel and runs toward the prisoner's cells. As he is sprinting, sirens begin to blare and lights start flashing - soldiers begin to gather into groups, pass around weapons - and he is certain that he has just launched himself into a situation he will not be able to escape from. And if he can't escape, Lea will certainly be unable to.

He continues to run, disgusted with himself for being unable to hide his emotions. His heavy boots pound on the cement floor as he fights to reach Lea before someone else does. If anyone has figured out that the Winter Soldier has a special connection with the prisoner girl, they may be running to come snatch her before the soldier can get there, and this is a thought he cannot bear. His mind races with a hundred different scenarios he could've just launched himself into, along with a million reasons to hate himself and how he brings harm so often to others.