Bullied (A Lesbian Story)

5

      The train ride home was long and thought provoking. I punched my afro queen, my symbol of beauty, my everything. Azula, who held the most perfect afro and spoke the most empowering sentences and speeches. From her beauty to her atritude, it inspired me..

And I punched her in her inspiring mouth.

I leave the train station and think about applying for another law school. I'm too tired to attend Urban Leaders anymore. I think ima transfer.

  

  I drag myself into the house. Kezzin is still at work and probably won't be home until 9. It's only 3:46.

I decide to shower and drink an Apple Smirnoff to relax. I'm still jumpy and my heart is beating fast. I take a shower, grab my drink and watch some Law and Order SVU. I feel the urge to throw up so I run to the bathroom and vomit. My nerves are so jumbled I vomit again and again. I've never hit someone so hard.

   I decide to drink the Smirnoff and sleep. I keep replaying Acadia's heartbroken face and her tears. I hurt her so badly. I cry and I wish she was here to hold me. I just wanna kiss her and apologize.

I curl up and cry harder. My stomach hurts and my eyes are blurry and hard to open. I look at the time.

5:03. Why is time moving so slowly.

     I deicde to look up other law colleges. But none of them hold my major, for citizens rights. I would rather stand up for gay people in court than be gay myself. I shake my head. I'm ashamed of myself. I continue searching and use the internet to distract me. By 7:42, I find myself running out of Family Guy espiodes to watch and my body tired. I decide to walk around outside.

I throw some sweats and a tank top on with my converses. I leave the house with some water and a granola bar. The sun is setting and kids are outside chasing eachother. I walk two blocks to the park and decide to relax on the swings. I swing and watch the other kids run around and fall on eachother. I wish I could have grown up that way. Having friends who didn't care about you played around or acted. I remember when me and my mom would play with dolls. We dressed them up like the characters from Captain Planet. I loved the show because they were different characters with different backgrounds and they all still worked together. I never had a problem with being a different race from other kids but my thoughts and actions and my background caused me to be different. My mom raised me to love everyone and told me to always be friendly but know when to say no and when to reject things. She tried her hardest to be my best friends and always wanted me safe. We always talked and I told her everything. We laughed together, she made me smile, and she made me feel better after people would tease me. But at the end of the day, she had her own demons to fight. My mom couldn't fight everyones demons and be ok. She lost physically but to me she won mentally.

        I remember talking to her on the hospital bed telling her I loved her and I remember kissing her on the forehead and turning to watch Captain Planet on her tv when I heard the monitor flatline. After that, I seen Acadia crying and grabbing for me. I couldn't hear anything. All I seen was strangers running into my moms corner and Acadia pulling me from the room. She said I screamed and I called for my mom and the nurses told me to leave but I picked my mom up to hug her and I wouldn't let go. She had to pull me from the room and drag me out. I kept screaming and crying and yelling to God to kill me now. I just kept screaming until I passed out in her arms. Acadia said all she could do was watch me suffer until I passed out and she called for help.

I miss my mom so much.

        I continue swinging and trying to relax. I look at my cellphone. I see it's 8:15. I sigh and get up to leave.

As I walk back home, I notice I see a car slowly driving in the street. I watch it then I decide to walk faster. The car also picks up speed. I start running home. The car picks up mega speed and the door flies open and I see Jackson jump out along with two other guys I've never seen before and Azula. I pick up speed and see Jackson is moving fast. He catches me and pulls me by my dreads. I fall down and see all four of them looking over me. Azula is dressed like a thug and her face is twisted and swollen from when I punched her. Why have I never seen this side of her? If only I knew, I would have never admired her so much.

She looks over me and punches me so hard my hear my jaw crack.

"THOUGHT YOU WAS GUNNA GET AWAY FOR PUNCHING ME BITCH? YOUR SCARED ASS THOUGHT WRONG!!" She swings her foot back and kicks me in my face. I taste blood and I can barely see straight. She kicks me again and I spit up blood and try to move. Jackson punches me in chest and his friend kicks me in back. I can barely see so I curl up and decide to stay this way. They keep kicking me and Azula jumps on me and tries to pull my face up to her so she can punch me. I try to punch her away and she keeps punching me in my head. It feels like forever before I hear people run over and yell for them to get off of me. I hear sirens and see their feet run away. I see Azula stop and I hear her snort and spit and I feel something wet land on my face. She continues running. I see people come to me but everything is dark. I feel myself being picked up before I see darkness.

  "Yeah.. I'm her brother...Ok.. Thank you." I try to open my eyes but they hurt so much. My body feels stuck and my head hurts so much.

"Kezzin." I see a blurry figure move toward me. "Fuck Revette. Oh gosh. Baby sis.. Baby sis I love you." I blink and i see his face. He's crying so hard and he's trying to kiss my forehead.

"Baby sis. I swear when I find who did this.. I'm going to strangle them." He grips the hopsital bed. I start crying because I'm replaying the scene. I cry because I'm in pain. I feel like dying.

"No don't cry baby sis. I love you. Please relax. Don't cry. Just relax. I called Acadia and let her know what happened. She's on her way okay hun."

Acadia... I cry more. I can't let her see me this way. I hurt her so badly. I feel like a complete failure.

My head hurts worse and everything goes black.

     I wake up. I'm able to see the time. It's 1:58. Then I see the shadow in the corner. I notice her big ponytail. She curled up in the vistors seat and is completely asleep. I look at her. She snores and moves. I cry and moan in pain. Acadia wakes up fast and looks at me. Startled,  I watch her. She sees my eyes are open and looks at me. Her eyes are completely dark and red. I can't even see the brown and green colors in her eyes. She cries when she notices I'm awake. She grits her teeth and breaks down. "Fuckkk... fuckkk.. nooo" She mumbles as she cries. "Revette baby I'm here. Baby I'm here." She kisses my forehead. "Ac-cadia." She looks at me hard.

"I'm sorry." I say. I reach for her and she kisses my swollen lips.

"It's ok. You were afraid. You were afraid of this." I get so tired from trying to talk that I fall asleep. I see Acadia watching me before I sleep.