I'm dating a unicorn (humor)

pablo no .

so I was just being a fat ass at home on my instagram and I see this really fine ass guy I asked him for his kik

we started texting each other and he said I was cute bc I was doing the duckface and acting all cute in the pic

he said we could go to the movies that night and watch "If I Stay"

and I said fine but I didn't really want to watch that movie

I wanted to watch a scary movie

or The Maze Runner (Dylan O'Brien is baee k . )

ok well we were going to meet each other that night

I WAS AT THE MOVIES AND BOUGHT SO MUCH SHIT LIKE 10 boxes of candy 3 Bags of popcorn 2 Pizzas and 2 large sodas I also got 2 ice cream cones (FOR ME OFC)

I AM SO FAT

I saw "bae" (fine ass boy- Erik) and I ran over to him

"HAAAYY I'm (Y/N) !!" I said and he started running away from me bc I'm so fat I look like a fucking sheep with Shrek morphed

I started to cry but then saw THE MAZE RUNNER was about to start

I went in there and started watching

I sat next to this Unicorn and we became really good friends he was so adorable too

Pablo (the unicorn) drove me home and said he will pick me up the next day to take me out to dinner

THE NEXT DAY

I had my date with PABLO today WOOOHOO!!

I was getting into his car but then I see Finn the Human down the street with Patrick Star

"ITS NOT HALLOWEEN!!?" I SAID

and then I looked at the unicorn and started screaming like Cameron Dallas

the unicorn told me to never talk to him again bc I was obnoxious and weird

IM SO UGLY EVEN A UNICORN DUMPED ME